The Misadventures of Scorpius Malfoy
by testosterone-tea
Summary: It wasn't as if Scorpius had planned to become such a troublemaker, it just turned out that way. It must have started when he was born, but once he met Albus Potter, things went downhill twice as fast...
1. Fall of First Year

A/N Hello, Miyako here! This story is preceded by the short one-shot "Gryffindor Boy", but you don't need to read that one to understand this story. All you need to know is at one point earlier, Scorpius meets Lily Luna Potter and rescues her from the clutches of Tobias Smith. This story will be written in seasons, so this is Fall.

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and I am simply borrowing her characters for my own use.**

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1. In Which Scorpius Attempts to Remove Someone's Eyebrows and only Partially Succeeds

Scorpius hung out the window of the Hogwarts Express waving enthusiastically to his mother and father down on the platform. His mother favoured him with a slight upturning of the corners of her mouth. But he knew she was actually happy for him, because she smiled with her eyes. His father was watching him with worry reflecting in his grey orbs. His father was always worried it seemed, and while Scorpius appreciated the concern he didn't understand it. It wasn't as if he ever got in trouble or anything!

As the train pulled away from the station and his parents faded into the distance he finally closed the window, even though he thought it would be interesting to have his head out the window of a moving vehicle. He only knew that if his father had been there, he would be extra worried.

The compartment door slid open behind him and he spun on the spot to find himself staring at a mini-replica of Harry Potter. He immediately grinned at the other boy and Potter returned the smile, albeit shyly.

"I'm Scorpius Malfoy!" he held out his hand toward the messy-haired boy.

"Albus Potter," he replied as he shook it, smiling a bit more. "I know you, you're that boy that Lily is always talking about."

"Lily!" Scorpius exclaimed. "I remember her! That butt-stain Smith was pushing her around, so I stopped him."

"I saw him earlier…" Albus frowned. "I really want to get him back for hurting my sister, but I don't know how."

"I know a spell that removes eyebrows!" Scorpius suddenly remembered excitedly. "My mom used it on my dad once!"

"Oh, okay!" now that Albus realized Scorpius wasn't a bad sort of guy, he was becoming less introverted. "Do you think it'll work?"

"Probably," Scorpius said decisively. "Let's go find him!"

Albus agreed, and as they walked down the corridor of the train, the blond remarked, "I've always wondered what it would be like to walk on top of the train."

"Always?" Albus cocked an eyebrow.

"Well, since I saw the Hogwarts Express," admitted Scorpius.

"I once saw a muggle action movie where there were people on top of trains. It looked fun," Albus announced.

"Want to try it?" asked Scorpius.

"Yeah! We should go try find a way up!" Albus grinned.

"We have to go get Smith first," the blond boy reminded him.

"Oh, yeah," Albus thought for a moment, then said, "How about this: we go get Smith and remove his eyebrows and _then_ we go find a way up?"

"Deal," Scorpius smirked as they set out to look for a certain, soon-to-be-eyebrowless Smith.

The two of them weren't much farther along when a voice called down the train, "Albus! Wait for me!"

The two stopped and turned to see a short girl with vibrant red and bushy hair walk briskly towards them. She halted in front of them and looked Scorpius up and down considerately. Inspection complete and apparently satisfactory, she turned to Albus.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

"Nothing Rose! Me and Scorpius are just going to see if we can find Tobias Smith," Albus held up his hands disarmingly with an innocent smile.

"Oh, I just saw him down this way," she told them. "Although why you would want to talk to that odious cretin is beyond my ability to comprehend."

"What's a 'odious cretin?'" whispered Scorpius in his friend's ear.

"I dunno, but if Rose says that he is one, then he probably is," replied Albus.

"Well, whatever else he is, he's definitely a bleeding tosser," Scorpius announced.

Rose turned to glare at him and hissed, "Language!"

"English," Scorpius responded helpfully.

Trying to ignore the blond, Rose turned to her cousin and said in an imperious voice, "He's right over there, leaning on the door of that compartment, talking to his little cronies. Go on then!"

Scorpius rolled up the sleeves to his robes and took out his wand.

"What are you doing?" Rose asked curiously, because she didn't realize the boy knew any spells.

"Amoveo capillus!" Scorpius whispered as he pointed it at Smith's face.

"You only got half of one on them," reported Albus. "See! Here let me try."

As Albus let fly with another spell, Scorpius groaned, "You only took off a corner of the other one!"

Rose, by this point, had figured out what they were trying to do and whipped out her own wand and said bossily, "Here, I'll show you how it's supposed to work!"

Unfortunately, Smith had finally realized someone was shooting spells at him and ducked when the girl's spell shot towards him. Not fast enough, because it removed a swath of hair right down the middle of his skull. The older boy screeched as his hands flew to his head, and feeling that he was missing a lot of his dark locks fixed the three first-years with a death glare of doom.

"My father can glare way better than you!" taunted Scorpius.

"I'm going to kill you, you little runts!" Smith screamed, reaching for his own wand and brandishing it at them.

"I think we had better leave," Rose recommended calmly.

"Right," Albus squeaked and he grabbed Scorpius' hand to drag him off behind him. "Let's go!"

"But there's only seven of them! We can take 'em!" Scorpius struggled to get away from Albus' tight grip.

"What do you mean by that?" Rose turned her head to glance over her shoulder.

Seven angry second years, all from Hufflepuff, were running down the hall towards them, the odious Smith in the lead.

"Run!" she yelped, and the three of them took off down the hall.

It was extremely lucky that all of them were so skinny and flexible, because they could slip through the people that stood in the way of their escape route.

"Trolley-lady at 12 'o clock!" screamed Scorpius as he flattened himself against the wall to get by.

Albus and Rose copied the motion and the three of them sped on down the length of the train. Behind them they heard several screams and a tremendous crash. Chancing a look behind them they saw the trolley goods scattered everywhere and the woman who had been pushing it berating Smith and his gang.

"Excellent!" Scorpius grinned. "That was brilliant!"

"Now all we have to do is find a way on top of the train," Albus beamed in return.

Rose blinked at them a few times, then asked, "Are you, by any chance, completely mad, dear cousin?"

"It's quite possible," he remarked happily. "Come on Scor, let's go!"

Scorpius pondered on the suddenly abbreviated name his friend had given him, decided he didn't mind and then smiled as he followed the messy-haired boy.

"Wait, where are you going?" Rose demanded as she marched along beside the pair, eyes never straying from their faces.

"The caboose!" Albus announced. "Every train has one, I think, so maybe there's a way up!"

The three of them made their way there, Rose keeping an eye out for the no-doubt vengeful Smith. At the very end of the train, there was a closed door that wouldn't open when Scorpius turned the handle.

"Alohomora!" Rose whispered, and with a soft click, the door unlocked.

The boys eased it open and marveled at the passing trees and the track behind the train. Rose snorted behind them, grumbling about how their newest scheme was a very bad idea. Scorpius responded that she shouldn't have opened the door if she thought so, and while the pair was squabbling, Albus found the ladder. It was attached to the back of the train next to the door, so Albus reached out a hand to grasp a rung. Carefully, he swung his body out so that he was fully on the ladder, causing his new friend and his cousin to gasp in surprise. Scorpius peeked his head out the door, and when he saw where Albus was, quickly followed him gleefully.

"Boys! Get back here!" she scolded them.

"Hey! What are you doing! Get away from there!" a prefect had stepped out of his compartment and noticed her standing there.

With a tiny yelp she would later deny, Rose scrambled out of the door and up the ladder after them, quickly disappearing before the prefect could stop her. The shouting below her was whipped away by the wind as the bushy-headed girl climbed on top of the carriage.

"This isn't so bad after all," she remarked. "It's nice out!"

The boys both grinned at her, and Albus said, "I told you it was a good idea!"

The trio set off on a trek across the train, leaving the caboose and the angry prefect behind them. It was a sunny day, so Scorpius took off his outer robe and carried it over his arm, and Rose and Albus who were still in their muggle clothes struggled out of pull-overs. The steady breeze kept them from getting too hot, and the view was much more extraordinary from the top of the train than inside it.

Sadly, all good things come to an end, and when Rose announced she was thirsty and hungry about two hours later, the boys agreed to begin the journey back to the caboose. Upon entering the train again, they were immediately confronted by two angry people. One was Victoire Weasley, the Head Girl, so they could only assume that the other was the Head Boy. After a thorough scolding, they were escorted to a compartment and warned to stay put.

There were several people already inside; some were Gryffindor second years, including Albus' brother James.

"Hey there little brother, what you been up to?" James asked, looking up from the game of Exploding Snap he'd been playing.

The deck of cards chose that moment to detonate, so Albus waited for James to stop cursing before saying, "We shaved off Smith's eyebrows!"

"Only bits of them," Scorpius mumbled beside him. Then he perked up as he remembered, "But Rose took a strip of hair out the middle of his head!"

Everyone in the compartment turned to stare at Rose, and then James exclaimed, "Way to go Rosie!"

As everyone else joined in, she turned a pit pink from embarrassment, but looked pleased with herself.

"Wait a moment, who are you?" James looked back at the blond.

"Er… Scorpius Malfoy," he looked down at his feet and shuffled them around nervously at the attention now on himself. "I…"

"Oh, Lily's guardian angel," James waved a hand in dismissal. "Okay, I dunno what you lot did to make Victoire so angry…"

"We climbed on top of the train!" announced Albus proudly as Scorpius looked disgruntled at being called an 'angel'.

"Oh, cool. Tell us about it?" James asked, and everyone else looked at them curiously.

The rest of the ride was spent telling about their adventure and eventual capture, playing more Exploding Snap and eating Chocolate Frogs and Cauldron Cakes from the trolley.

When the three of them eventually departed the train, it was dark out and a tad misty and damp as September evenings sometimes are. Albus was glad that he had remembered to change into his robes earlier.

"This way," Rose told them, dragging them off by their elbows.

"It's Hagrid!" Albus said excitedly and broke into a run as Scorpius followed, leaving Rose to yell after them.

"Into the boats now," the half-giant was instructing everyone. "No more than four to a boat. That's right, in ye get!"

"Hey Hagrid!" Albus beamed up at him.

"Oh, hello Al. Come to my cabin on Friday after you finish classes. We can talk then. Now you and Rosie and – who's this, get in a boat, go on!" Hagrid waved them to an empty boat.

The boats set out across the lake, and Scorpius leaned over the side and trailed his hand in the water. It was cool on his fingers and sort of relaxing, that is, until he felt the brush of something against them. He whipped his hand back and leaned over farther, trying to catch a glimpse of whatever it was.

"What is it?" Albus asked, leaning over as well.

"I dunno, something touched me and I want to know what it is," he responded, still trying to see if he could find it.

"I hear that there is a giant squid in this lake!" Rose announced suddenly.

"Really? Cool!" both boys looked in earnest now.

As Rose moved over beside them to reluctantly look as well, they all realized something very important about the laws of physics. Three people could not lean over one side of a boat without it tipping over. Unfortunately, they were too late in this realization to prevent the inevitable, and they all made a tremendous splash as they ended up in the cold, dark water of the lake. The three of them struggled to the surface; all the while their wet robes were weighing them down.

"Where's the boat?" gasped Scorpius through a mouthful of water.

"Over there!" Rose motioned quickly.

Amazingly, the boat was upright, and Scorpius assumed that there was magic on it to right it in the case of a catastrophe like this one. The three of them forced their way over to the side of it, and just as the blond was about to try and climb into the boat, something large and very strong pushed him up and into the boat, where he tumbled to the bottom in a wet, shivering heap. A moment later, Albus landed on top of him, and Rose after that.

"What just happened?" Albus blinked a few times, black hair sticking to his forehead.

"I think we were just pushed back into the boat by… something big," replied Scorpius from his place at the bottom of the pile. "Now get off me!"

The other two extracted themselves from the mess of limbs and they noticed that the boat was moving again and that they were lagging far behind the other boats.

"Now we're going to miss the Sorting!" Rose looked upset. "And I did want to get Sorted, even if it does mean fighting a troll."

"What???" the boys stared at her. "What about fighting a troll?"

"My dad said that we'd have to fight a mountain troll in order to get properly sorted. I figured that if you fight it you're a Gryffindor, if you try and negotiate then you're a Ravenclaw, if you try and befriend it you're a Hufflepuff and if you run away then you're a Slytherin," Rose told them knowingly.

"Oh," the two boys considered this carefully, and then, because it made perfect sense when it was put like that, they accepted it as fact.

"I wonder if they'll let us fight it together," Albus though aloud.

"Maybe," Rose conceded.

The rest of their time in the boat was spent thinking up tactics that one could use while fighting a troll, so when the boat eventually came to a stop, they were all very surprised to notice that they'd missed their first view of the castle. Not only that, but there was a familiar figure standing there waiting for them.

"Neville!" Rose and Albus cried happily.

"Er, we mean, Professor," Rose added quickly.

The round-faced man shook his head. "My my, you two, already in trouble. What were you thinking, climbing on top of the Hogwarts Express? I must say that since you have no Houses yet we can't deduct points, but you will all three serve detention with Mr. Filch tomorrow night."

"Oh, dear," Scorpius said mournfully. "Father will not be pleased."

As it turned out, when they joined their fellow first years, still sopping wet and a tad cold, there was no troll and apparently never had been. Instead, there was a rather rumpled old hat in the middle of the hall, and even as they entered, it began to sing.

"Where's the troll?" Scorpius asked, actually seemingly disappointed that they didn't get to fight one after all.

"I dunno," Albus answered. "What's with the hat? And why is everyone staring at it like that?"

"Beats me," Scorpius shrugged.

Neville (Professor) stood up and called a name, "Abbott, Christine!"

A girl with curly brown hair went up to the hat and sat on the stool, placing the hat on her head. A moment later, the hat actually spoke, announcing that the girl was a Hufflepuff.

"Oh," the boys sighed in unison.

"So that's how it works," muttered Scorpius dully. "How boring."

"I know," grumbled Albus. "No trolls! Oh well, it could be worse."

Finally, Neville said, "Malfoy, Scorpius!"

Scorpius went up to the hat and looked at it suspiciously before sitting down and putting it on his head, where it settled around his ears.

"Oh, another Malfoy," it said gleefully. "You are definitely different though."

"You're boring," Scorpius thought back at it defiantly. "I wanted a troll!"

"Is that so," the Hat said. "Where shall I put you?"

"Well," Scorpius started. "My father would probably want me to be a Slytherin, but I want to be wherever Albus ends up. Except that Albus is behind me… I suppose someone is trying to avert Chaos from descending on the school, but just so they know, it's not going to work!"

"I know just where to put you… GRYFFINDOR!"

The hall was deafeningly silent when Scorpius took off the Hat and everyone watched him in shock as he ignored them and wandered towards the correct table. Albus' brother James grinned at him and offered him a seat. As the blond boy sat, everyone started talking at once, that is, until Neville cleared his throat.

"Potter, Albus!" he read off the list.

Scorpius leaned forward and prayed to the God or Goddess or whoever of Chaos and Confusion that Albus would be put in Gryffindor. A moment later it was answered, and he and everyone else cheered as the raven-haired boy took his place at the table. Albus sat by him and asked, "Did you really tell the hat you wanted to be wherever I went?"

"Yeah, of course," Scorpius rolled his eyes as if the answer was obvious.

Albus turned to watch the rest of the students get Sorted. "Now we just have to wait and see if Rose ends up here as well."

She did, thankfully. When the Feast ended without them paying attention to the speech given by Headmaster Yates and they trotted up behind Victoire up to Gryffindor Tower, they discussed all the things they would do at Hogwarts now that they were finally there.

Scorpius got out a quill and parchment so that he could send a letter with one of the school owls. He himself didn't have one yet because his father told him he'd get one for Christmas if he did well in his first semester.

_Father,_

_I'm in Gryffindor. Just thought you should know right from the start. I know you are worried, but I will be fine, I promise. I already met some friends, and I've decided that my best friend is Albus Potter. We met on the train, and we shaved off Smith's eyebrows! Well, bits of them, but it's the thought that counts, right? And Rose even gave him an odd sort of reverse-mohawk. Oh, and Neville, I mean Professor Longbottom gave us detention, but that was because we went on top of the train. I mean, there was no rule saying we couldn't, so it's not really fair. Also, we fell in the lake, and Rose thinks that the Giant Squid pushed us out again. So far everything is fine. Albus is in Gryffindor too, along with Derek Wood, Ryan Fletching and Patrick O'Neal. We're going to play Gobstones, so I'll write you again tomorrow. Give mother my love._

_Scorpius_

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That was interesting. So, tell me, what do you think?


	2. Winter of First Year

A/N So here is the Winter portion of their first year… I missed putting in Christmas, but recall that I have six more winters to write since I am covering their whole seven years at Hogwarts. Oh yeah, going back to university in a couple weeks… hopefully it will be fic-inspiring.

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and I am simply borrowing her characters for my own use.**

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2. In Which Scorpius Attempts a Distraction and Misses the Point Completely

Three sets of bright eyes watched the progress of a group of Hufflepuffs through the snow-covered grounds of Hogwarts. The first pair gleamed silver in excitement, knowing the group to be completely unsuspecting. The second glowed brilliant green as the owner of these eyes tensed in anticipation. The third shone golden-brown and all three got ready for the imminent confrontation.

"They're almost in range," reported Rose Weasley, as her hands set rapidly at work to roll perfectly shaped balls of snow.

"Just tell us when," Scorpius Malfoy replied, readying the first of the snowballs for launch, carefully aiming.

"Almost there…" Albus Potter followed suit, a determined look on his face.

"Now," Rose said.

Scorpius' snowball hit Tobias Smith in the side of his head and the snow sprayed in every which direction. Albus' followed right behind it, and when the Hufflepuff turned to see who was attacking him, the ball exploded right in the face. Rose reloaded their hands quickly, knowing they had the best aim. The two boys let fly the next volley and once again their aims were true, causing Smith to have to wipe his face of wet snow. The group of Hufflepuffs charged towards them, the snow somewhat impeding their progress.

"Wait for it…" Rose told them as they reloaded and kept throwing their icy missiles at the Hufflepuffs.

"Wait for it…" she cautioned again as it appeared the boys might falter at their enemies proximity.

"Now," she said, and released her Hovering Charm on the large amounts of snow she had waiting for Smith and his friends. It plunged down and hit the surprised boys in the head, causing several to lose their footing and fall into the churned snow.

"Keep throwing," she ordered, watching as the Hufflepuffs struggled to their feet while still being bombarded with snow.

"Get ready," was the next order, and they all shifted positions.

"Go!" she yelled, when it seemed they were about to be pummeled mercilessly by Smith, who was in the lead.

The three rose into the air as one on the brooms they had borrowed from the broomshed on the Quidditch Pitch. The brooms might not have been the fastest or newest around, but they were adequate enough for retreat purposes. Laughing, the young Gryffindor trio lifted into the air and were lost in the falling snow, leaving behind several enraged Hufflepuffs.

_Dear father_

_It just snowed up here at Hogwarts and Rose planned a brilliant ambush on those evil Hufflepuffs. That's one word I'd never have thought I'd associate with a Hufflepuff, but I think that 'evil' is an adequate description. Anyway, I think Rose ought to be a General or something. Albus told me what a General was, and if anyone was one, I think Rose would be one. Oh, by the way, I had a question to ask you. I was wondering if Albus could come visit me over Christmas, cause that would be awesome beyond belief. He says his dad said it was okay. Have you ever met his dad before? I think you did, but I can't remember. Oh, and we got detention because of the ambush, mostly for breaking into the broomshed to borrow some brooms. That's okay, cause we really showed Smith. I'll see you next week! You can meet Albus and Rose then. _

_Love, Scorpius_

The following week, as the Hogwarts Express pulled up to Platform 9¾, the trio had their noses pressed up to the window to try and spot their parents. The steam cleared slowly to show the outline of people on the platform.

"There's my father!" Scorpius pointed in excitement.

The train had hardly even had time to stop before Scorpius was tearing out of it to race across to see his father. Rose and Albus followed, Albus running like Scorpius had, while Rose brought up the rear, making sure to float their trunks out of the train before chasing the other two.

"Father!" the younger Malfoy flung himself into his father's arms and attempted to squeeze the life out of him.

Draco, on his part, looked somewhat surprised at the exuberant greeting, but hugged his son back all the same. Albus caught up a moment later, skidding to try to stop on a patch of ice and crashing into Scorpius. The two boys tumbled to the ground in a jumble of limbs, laughing as they tried to struggle to their feet. Rose walked up to stare down at them calmly, ignoring the older Malfoy in favour of looking disapprovingly at her friends.

"Completely hopeless!" she announced at them.

Albus grinned and shot out a foot to trip her. She yelped loudly and fell on top of the pile, trying to tell them off without joining in with their laughter. Soon enough it was too much, and she began giggling along with them, all of them too busy laughing to even attempt to stand.

"Well," came a deep voice.

They all looked up to see Draco and Harry both watching the proceedings with disbelieving eyes. The two parents had such similar poleaxed looks on their faces that the three of them burst out laughing again, pointing and clutching their stomachs. When they finally stopped, Albus got to his feet, first helping Scorpius to stand, then both of them tugged Rose upright.

"Hello Uncle Harry," Rose said first. "You look particularly unruly today. Have you seen my parents?"

"Um…" the eldest Potter couldn't seem to find the words.

"Eloquent as ever, I see, Potter," Draco drawled slowly.

"Oh!" Scorpius looked back and forth between the two. "So you _have_ met before! I was sure you had, but I couldn't remember when."

"Yes, we have indeed… met before," Draco raised an elegant eyebrow at his former rival in amusement.

Harry appeared to visibly snap out of his strange state of mind and added, "Same year at Hogwarts. I was a Gryffindor, he was a Slytherin, and our relationship at the time was somewhat… combative."

"Really?" Albus seemed excited. "Did you have epic battles?"

Both men sobered at this, and Draco said very quietly, "Oh yes, there were battles." Harry nodded slowly, looking somber.

That's when Ginny, Ron and Hermione decided to appear.

"Rosie!" the two Weasley's swept up their daughter in a hug before turning to see who Harry was staring at.

"Malfoy!" they both gaped, and Rose giggled quietly.

Then, the rest of the adults seemed to notice that neither Harry nor Draco were even paying attention, apparently watching something completely disbelieving. They turned their own gaze on the spectacle the other two were witnessing.

Albus and Scorpius had their arms slung over the other's shoulder amiably and were chattering away quite contentedly, ignoring everyone else. Even as they watched, Rose joined them. She tugged at Scorpius' sleeve, bringing to their attention that they were under intense scrutiny.

"They look almost exactly like we did when we were eleven," Draco mused quietly. "I mean apart from fighting and attempting to hex each other silly."

"Yeah," Harry said softly.

The boys both tilted their heads quizzically at this exchange of words, resulting in them bumping heads and then laughing at their mistake.

"Can Albus come visit us over the holidays?" Scorpius demanded of his father.

Draco looked over at his ex-nemesis and raised an eyebrow. "If his parents are fine with the situation, then I see no reason why not."

"I already said he could go if he liked," Harry shrugged as Ginny looked at both the male Malfoys suspiciously.

"Harry!" Ginny admonished. "He's a Malfoy!"

Scorpius looked up at these words and asked, "Have I ever met you before?"

"No," Albus' mother replied slowly.

"Then what have I done in the past ten minutes that has made you think badly of me?" the young Gryffindor asked, watching her with sorrowful grey eyes.

Draco broke in to say, "You needn't worry that he's anything like me when I was eleven if that is your concern. Recall that he is a Gryffindor."

"Do you not like my father?" Scorpius asked, eyes hardening to granite. He growled angrily, "Don't you dare say anything about him! He's the best father ever!"

"Scorpius," Draco looked torn between being pleased at this adamant defense of himself and being stern at the outburst. "Be polite."

"They started it," Scorpius said mutinously.

Albus and Rose came to stand beside him, and Albus proclaimed, "Well, he's _our_ friend, and we don't like how you're talking to him. Besides, he rescued Lily that one time."

"He what?" Ginny asked abruptly.

"Rescued Lily," confirmed Harry nervously. "Tobias Smith was harassing her and young Scorpius here stopped him."

"You never told me about this incident," she hissed to Harry.

"I didn't want to worry you, dear," the man tugged at his collar. "Oh, look at the time, we should leave… er, where's James?"

"Hey, I'll bet he went Hufflepuff Hunting without us!" Albus scowled.

At this statement, the three of them immediately set out across the platform to find the wayward James without consulting any of the adults.

"Hufflepuff Hunting?" Draco voiced despairingly, shaking his head. "Whatever am I going to do with him?"

The rest of the adults around him nodded knowingly in shared pain, and Ginny even patted his shoulder consolingly as they hurried anxiously to find their errant children.

_Al,_

_I can't wait to see you tomorrow! I know, my father already told me it was a waste of time to send this to you since I was seeing you tomorrow, but I decided to send it anyway, mostly to annoy my father. Besides, I wanted to tell you that I wanted to try to make s'mores when I come over to your house. Proper ones I mean, like the ones you told me about. I tried to make them here, but as it turns out they aren't as simple as you made them sound. I tried to make one over the fireplace here at the manor, but problems soon arose. Like the fact that I had nothing to stick the marshmallow on to roast it, so I decided to use a roast pan instead. Turns out they don't roast too well. So after I hid the mess from my parents, I went outside to get sticks like you told me to. Did you know that marshmallows are flammable? Well, they are, cause the one I was trying to cook was. I tried to put it out by waving it around, you know, like muggles do to put out a match. It also turns out that marshmallows don't stick as well as I thought cause mine flew off the end and set the curtains on fire. The house-elves put it out, but since I'm sure my dad will notice the smoking remains of what were once my mother's favorite curtains, now I must find a way to distract him so maybe he won't notice. See you tomorrow!_

_Scorpius_

When Albus Potter and his father came to be standing at the gates of Malfoy Manor, both looked around in awe at the sheer size of the house before them. It was large enough to fit about ten copies of their own house inside it. The gates swung open as they walked up to it, and they continued on down the path, Albus staring in fascination at the white peacocks in the yard. At the door, they knocked politely, and it was answered immediately. To their surprise, Scorpius poked his head out and followed this up by launching himself at his friend.

"The distraction tactics all failed," he told Albus mournfully. "I even stooped to setting my father's pet anaconda loose and he _still _noticed the curtains!"

"Your father has a pet anaconda?" asked Harry.

"Yeah, my mother's scared of her, but my father says he's seen a much bigger snake, so he isn't," Scorpius waved it off.

"Where is your father, Scorpius?" Albus' father looked around for his former rival, thinking to talk to him for a moment.

"Oh, he's trying to reweave the curtains I destroyed before mother notices," Scorpius hung his head. "I'm lucky she won't get back home for a couple days yet."

They entered the Manor to find the entrance hall in complete ruins. Albus wiped his feet of slush on the shredded carpet and looked around, carefully noting the gouges in the walls and crooked or missing portraits. The door was half demolished and was hanging crazily off its hinges, and even as Al was admiring this, Draco entered. His hair was coloured a light but noticeable lime green and he was missing an eyebrow. He raised the other remaining one at his former rival.

"What happened in here?" Harry asked in mounting horror.

"I didn't know it would actually work!" protested Scorpius. "I mean, Rose taught it to me, so I knew it would work, but I didn't know I could do it properly!"

"Do what?" Albus asked excitedly.

"Transfigure a table into a rhinoceros…" Scorpius scuffed his feet at the torn carpet.

"I'm not even going to ask," Harry concluded, still staring at Draco's hair.

"Kool-aid crystals in my shampoo. I shall assume he got both the idea and the crystals from your son," Draco huffed.

"I see…" Harry winced, thinking that perhaps it would not do to allow either of the boys to remain in Draco's presence for much longer. "Should I take them somewhere else for a while?"

"That would do quite nicely," Draco flipped back his lime-coloured hair. "Then I can get back to fixing the house. Did you know that half the manor is impossible to navigate thanks to those blasted fake swamps that the Weasley twins invented? And my stairs have turned into a waterfall and all the rosebushes round back have suddenly become carnivorous. If you'll excuse me."

The three of them watched as Draco stomped off and Al asked, "Minor distraction I can understand, but seriously Scor? I'm surprised you're still alive."

"And he _still_ noticed the curtains!" Scorpius sulked as they all left the manor.

With a lack of any other place to take the pair of young trouble-makers, Harry decided on the Burrow, because that was where the entire Weasley family was at the moment. Scorpius and Albus managed to miraculously spot Rose's head in the middle of the rest of the red-headed Weasley family and the three immediately snuck out.

"Guess what, Rose!" Scorpius grinned at her. "The rhino spell works!"

"Of course it works," Rose said, rolling her eyes. As she did, she noticed a certain green-eyed man walking out the door and called to him, "Where are you going Uncle Harry?"

"To Malfoy Manor," he replied with a glare for the three of them. "I need to help Draco fix the damage you three caused."

"Oh," Scorpius hung his head. "I didn't mean to cause such chaos at my own home… I'll have to make it up to him somehow…"

"Let's make him cookies!" Rose piped up.

"Well, seeing how his last episode in trying to cook turned out…" Albus sighed.

"Don't be berks, we'll get Grandma Weasley to help us," Rose snorted, and as the three of them marched off to the kitchens with a sense of purpose, Albus interjected, "I don't suppose Uncle George can tell us how to fix an eyebrow, can he?"

And the trio of troublemakers put their heads together in an attempt to try and undo all the damage they had caused.

When the two once-rivals finally arrived back home appearing tired and worn-out, Albus, Scorpius and Rose pounced upon the pair immediately. They dragged the unresisting men into the kitchen and forced them to sit, practically wriggling in excitement.

"We made you cookies!" Scorpius announced, showing them a plate of freshly baked gingerbread shapes. "They were supposed to be gingerbread men, but Albus is deficient at using a cookie cutter."

Albus punched him in the arm playfully, then held out a hand, "Er, we also got this for you Mr. Malfoy, cause we couldn't figure out how to make your old one grow back."

Draco leaned forward and quirked his good eyebrow. "You made me a replacement eyebrow?"

"It just needs a Sticking Charm!" Rose grinned up at him. "And we didn't think anyone would be able to tell the difference."

The elder Malfoy accepted it dubiously, but when they saw him again later that evening, anyone who didn't know better would have been thoroughly convinced that he had two working eyebrows.

The two Malfoys stayed at the Burrow for the next two days to the surprise and delight of Albus and Rose. Apparently once Draco had arrived, he found Grandma Weasley's cooking to be so delicious he was reluctant to leave. The three of them had fun eating food that they weren't supposed to, like those chocolate liqueurs they had found hidden in a cupboard and dive-bombing Harry and Draco on brooms with snowballs when they were trying to have serious adult discussions. They even got to watch Draco struggle to learn to skate and fall on his dainty aristocratic behind every time whoever was teaching him let go of his hand.

Sadly, all good things come to an end, and after the two days were up, the Malfoy males had to leave. Astoria was returning from France where she had been visiting her parents and they had to be back to greet her upon her arrival. The two left early in the morning, just as snow started to fall. Scorpius wished he and Albus could have stayed together longer, but was comforted by the knowledge that the two would see each other again in only a couple of weeks. Just as they were about to Apparate, he heard Albus remark to his father, "I think that Mr. Malfoy's hair is less green than it started out as" and he grinned.

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So, what do you think? Am I being to brief in my coverage? Also, if anyone has any suggestions for the kinds of trouble the three of them can get up to, please tell me! I'd love to hear from you!


	3. Spring of First Year

A/N Waaaah!!! Sorry it took so long to update this, but university sure has a lot of work to do! Things get a little bit more serious near the end, but nothing really happens till second year, so not to worry that it'll get too dark.

Also! Thank you to **xx-Franz-xx **for reviewing my last chapter! I did not want you to feel unappreciated just because I couldn't send you a response like everyone else.

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and I am simply borrowing her characters for my own use.**

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3. In which Scorpius looks for Trouble and it finds Him Instead

One day not long after Easter break, Scorpius decided that they needed to fight an Evil Overlord. Albus was dubious and Rose was adamantly against this idea, but Scorpius could not be dissuaded. His reasoning was this: if Al's dad could fight Voldemort at age 11 and win, then why couldn't they do the same with another evil mastermind intent on taking over the world?

"But Scor," Rose argued, "Al's dad was lucky to survive that encounter! Not to mention that even if you want to fight an Evil Overlord does not mean he or she will want to fight you! Besides, how do you know there even is any particularly malignant force here at Hogwarts?"

"We'll just have to find one," Scorpius announced, not to be deterred.

"Find one? Where?" Al ran a nervous hand through his unruly mop of hair. "I mean, I'm sure my father has already uncovered all the evilness here anyway."

"He can't _possibly _have found _all_ of it!" Scorpius gave him a look. "If there is anything evil going on, it is our duty to find it!"

"Duty?" Rose said in exasperation. "To whom?"

Apparently Scorpius hadn't thought this far ahead, because he bit his bottom lip and scowled at her before announcing, "It'll be fun! Come on, think of all the cool things we could do!"

"Yes, because I'm sure that 'Lumos' will vanquish the darkness," Rose grumbled back at him.

"It does do that, doesn't it," he smiled winningly back at her.

"I _meant_ that our first-year knowledge is insufficient!" she snapped at his flippancy. "We don't nearly know enough to be of any threat to a 'malignant force' at all!"

"Well your parents did it, didn't they?" Scorpius argued again.

"My mother was brilliant, and well, Uncle Harry is _Uncle Harry_, don't you see! And if my father wasn't so good at chess, then we'd all have been doomed!" Rose started to become hysterical, waving her arms in the air.

"Are you, Rose Weasley, not utterly brilliant?" Scorpius asked her, grinning. "And Al here is his father's son so obviously he's amazing. As for me… I don't think the fate of the world will ever rely again on a game of chess, at least I hope it doesn't cause I'm rubbish at it… anyway, you can't have an attitude like that Rose, or nothing would ever get done."

"Scorpius, be reasonable! We _aren't_ going to go around searching for evil overlords! It's just a really bad idea!" Rose exploded.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, Rose," Albus finally piped up.

"Yeah, we can see now that you're not really up to it," Scorpius agreed cheerfully.

"So how did your dad find out all about Voldemort his first year?" the blonde Gryffindor asked his friend, ignoring Rose suddenly.

"Can't really remember, but I think they found out something from Hagrid," the messy-haired boy recalled. "Something about a three-headed dog?"

"Cerberus?" mused Scorpius before crying out, "That's such a great idea! Let's go see Hagrid and ask him about stuff!"

The two boys set off, and Rose stood there grumbling for a few moments before finally throwing her hands up in despair and giving chase yelling, "Wait for me, you idiots! Someone has to make sure you don't get into trouble."

As it turned out, Hagrid knew very little about anything evil, especially overlords. According to him, everything had been quite peaceful for the past nineteen years and he would be quite fine with it staying that way. As they left, Scorpius heaved a great sigh of disappointment and Rose seemed vaguely triumphant.

"Well," Scorpius remarked later that night in the common room while the three of them were sitting by the fire, "Just because Hagrid doesn't know anything it doesn't necessarily mean there is no evil!"

Rose rolled her eyes for about the hundredth time that day, choosing not to comment, although her skepticism was obvious.

"Where else could it possibly be then?" asked Albus, while trying to balance a quill on the end of his nose, but succeeding only in getting bright green ink stains on his face.

"Well, who do we know is evil?" Scorpius mused for a moment or two, and in the meantime Rose tried to scrub Al's face, but instead managed to smear the ink everywhere.

"Smith, obviously," Rose snorted with yet another eyeroll. "And it couldn't be him, because there's no way the stupid berk is anywhere smart enough to be an evil overlord."

"Yeah," Al agreed, giving up on both the balancing act and getting the stains off his face. "He's definitely no more than minion material. And even then, he'd be one of the expendable ones, like the kind the evil overlord would feed to his dragons if they were hungry."

"Dragon?" Rose raised her eyebrows.

"Dragons," Al agreed, "I mean, if he's evil, and an overlord, there has to be dragons, too. It would be boring otherwise."

"Merlin forbid Al be bored," Rose sighed.

Scorpius shot up out of his seat so abruptly that Al fell out of his chair.

"That's it!" he cried as Al rubbed a spot on his head where it had hit the floor. "If Smith is evil and a minion, then he _must_ know where the _real_ evil overlord is! Besides, it's obvious that Hufflepuffs make the best minions."

"What?" Rose said flatly, giving him a look that clearly spoke that she was of the opinion that the blond Gryffindor was completely crazy.

"They do!" Scor insisted, while pounding a small pale fist into his palm. "They're loyal and everything! Hard-working, too."

"Let's sneak into their common room and see if we can find out anything!" Al scrambled to his feet. "I'll go steal – er, borrow James' invisibility cloak!"

"Wait!" Rose snapped, also getting to her feet in an effort to head them off. "We can't go into the Hufflepuff's common room! That's against the rules! Besides, it's not like the rest of the Hufflepuffs are evil! And even then, Smith would not discuss his evil plans in plain sight!"

"Rules are more like guidelines than actual rules," Al waved it off. "Also, we want to sneak into Hufflepuff territory! It would be exciting."

With that, the two boys rushed up the stairs to get the cloak while Rose fumed at their blatant disregard for the rules.

In the end, Rose ended up going with them in the interest of making sure they didn't manage to get themselves in too much trouble.

"This is a _really_ bad idea," Rose hissed for about the tenth time in as many minutes.

"Quiet, we're here!" Al whispered back as they halted next to a portrait of a rather jolly-looking man. "At least, the map says this is where it is."

"How do we get in?" Rose snapped at them, clearly not wanting to be there. "We don't know the password!"

"Oh, I didn't think of that…" Scor bit his lip pensively.

"We'll just have to wait here until someone opens it," Al shrugged.

Scorpius considered this for a moment of silence, and then announced, "We should kidnap someone!"

"Bad idea," Rose snapped in return.

"But I've always wanted to kidnap someone…."

"Quiet! There's someone coming this way!" Al hurriedly shushed his companions. "I think it's a prefect."

A tall sixth year Hufflepuff marched towards them, a severe expression on his face. It was quite apparent that he took the shiny badge pinned to his breast very seriously. His chest was puffed out, and just before he gave the password (constant diligence!) he carefully smoothed down his already neat hair and straightened his tie. Then he pulled out a mirror from somewhere and examined his face. Deeming it satisfactory, he continued on.

"What an utter prat," commented Scorpius as they followed the prefect carefully, trying not to step on the back of his feet.

The Hufflepuff common room wasn't so different from their own common room, except instead of being in crimson and gold it was in black and yellow. Also, instead of being a round room like the Tower, it was square and had two hallways rather than staircases. They immediately spotted Smith and his cronies next to the fire, mirroring their own habitual position in the Gryffindor common room.

"Come on," Scor tugged them over to stand behind Smith.

Smith was talking about Crup-breeding. What's more, the other second-years were all listening as if their lives depended on it. The three of them shot each other puzzled looks, but continued listening anyway, in spite of their mutual confusion. After about half an hour with no end in sight to the Crup lecture, Scorpius tugged the three of them out of hearing distance and they sat on one of the black couches nearby.

"So, obviously they're speaking in code," the blond boy announced at once.

"No…" Al corrected slowly. "They're just really boring."

"Well, what now?" Rose asked anxiously. "It's almost curfew and we need to get back to the Tower before Filch starts his rounds!"

"Not to mention I bet James has noticed the Cloak's gone," added Al.

Their discussion was abruptly cut off when a third-year girl suddenly squealed and pointed straight at them, "Look! That seat's depressed in the middle, almost like someone's sitting there!"

The trio shot each other looks of panic as one of the second-years close to them yelled, "I'll bet it's Peeves!"

"But Peeves can't get in here!" argued one of the prefects.

The three Gryffindors struggled to their feet and tried to move away from the couch as wands began appearing in hands around them. The pratty prefect leveled his own wand at the spot they had been.

"Where did it go?" he asked, looking back and forth.

As the Hufflepuffs all glared around the room suspiciously, the trio very slowly moved away, trying to maneuver around the clumps of nervous students without alerting anyone to their presence, hands clasped over their mouths to muffle their breathing. This plan was working out just fine, until Al knocked over a pile of books that had been stacked on the floor. They spilled over, and every head in the place whipped around simultaneously. This was followed by several scared students shooting spells off in a panic, some in the right direction, but mostly not.

Al and Scor dove to the ground to avoid the barrage of spells going off above their heads, immediately revealing their location. Already, startled Hufflepuffs were firing off hexes at random, not noticing that they were hitting each other rather than the intruders. Rose, being the smart girl that she was, had stayed underneath the cloak and remained undetected. Unfortunately, Al and Scor were not nearly as lucky, and had started firing off the very few jinxes they had learned over the year at anyone around them. Many of the Badger House had already either abandoned the area completely or had been hit by an incapacitating spell. This left the pair of Gryffindors to deal with the older students, who all knew the advanced hexes as well as the all-important Shield spell.

"Come one, Al!" Scor grabbed his friend's arm and they dodged several red flashes of light and ran towards one of the hallways.

They had only gotten halfway down when a loud, blaring sound filled the air and a gender-neutral voice said in a voice that the two were certain could be heard throughout the school, "Male intruder alert, male intruder alert."

"This is the girls' dorm!" Al skidded to a halt, and the pair raced back in the direction of the common room.

They hurtled past their pursuers, who all stopped in confusion and the two of them burst back into the common room, amid the screams of several Hufflepuff girls. The whole house appeared to be in an uproar. Those who hadn't been caught in the storm of spells into which the common room had erupted, had been alerted to the Gryffindor invasion by the sirens. Half of the Hufflepuff population was on the floor, either from getting hit by a hex or because they were trying to avoid that fate.

Smith, knowing who they were, chanced a Disarming Charm that hit Albus, causing him to fly backwards and his wand to arc up into the air overhead. Smith would have caught it, except that an enraged Rose Weasley reappeared as she whipped the concealing cloak off of herself.

She snatched her cousin's wand out of the air before turning to Smith with a furious expression on her face.

"How dare you hurt Albus," she hissed, and the Hufflepuff seemed terrified.

The she screamed the Bat-Bogey Hex at his face, and soon he was shrieking as the spell took effect. The angry Gryffindor girl continued to fire off this hex at the surrounding Hufflepuffs, most of who were now fleeing the area rather than get hit. It seemed as if Rose had inherited the Weasley female talent for the spell.

Scorpius dragged his dazed friend to his feet and yelled, "Let's go!"

Rose cast one last wrathful hex over her shoulder, and the trio fled the scene, leaving through the portrait that had been carelessly left ajar. The screams and yells of the angry and confused Hufflepuffs was left behind as they made their escape. The three Gryffindors didn't stop running until they had reached the safety of the Tower. They arrived, panting, at the portrait of the Fat Lady, and were just trying to gasp out the password when they heard a throat clear behind them.

"Potter! Weasley! Malfoy!" Professor Longbottom surveyed the three with a stern look. "Come with me, we're going to see the Headmistress. And Potter. Why do you have ink all over your face?"

The three reluctantly followed, still trying to regain their breath.

"Wow," James remarked when they came back to the common room an hour later after having been thoroughly chastised. "We heard that you three took on the whole of Hufflepuff House!"

"And won, by all accounts," added one of his friends.

"We've got detention again," sighed Scor as he slumped into an armchair. "With Hagrid!"

"Yeah, in the Forbidden Forest," Al grinned, obviously thrilled at the prospect of wandering around in a prohibited forest inhabited by dangerous wild animals at night. "Won't that be exciting?"

Rose glared at her companions, "We lost 50 points for Gryffindor! How can you be pleased with yourselves!?"

"Cause you hit Smith with the Bat-Bogey Hex!" laughed Scor.

Rose turned red with embarrassment, and very carefully studied the floor as the rest of their year-mates praised her for the feat.

"Well," she finally admitted. "I guess it was really awesome, huh?"

Al and Scor grinned at her, and they all settled back to tell the tale of the Hufflepuff House Disaster.

"I hate this," Rose grumbled. "Why do we have to find this stupid flower anyway? It's pointless!"

"Hagrid says it's the only thing those things he's breeding eat," sighed Al.

"Things?" Scor asked cautiously. "Dare I ask?"

"He hasn't found a name for them yet," Rose snorted. "I think they should be called Double-headed monstrosities."

"At least they're vegetarians," Al tried to console her.

"The thing has two cow heads," Rose gave him a flat glare.

"Okay, so maybe the thing is a bit odd-looking…"

"No. _You're_ odd-looking, that _thing_ is hideous!"

"At least it's more even tempered than you!"

"Well, maybe you should go live with it, I'm sure you'd get along great…"

"Shut it!" Scor interrupted. "Did you hear something?"

They all quieted quickly and crept up on the sound, realizing that it was a voice, talking rapidly.

"Yes, everything will soon be in place," it was saying.

"And you're sure the Headmistress is aware of nothing?" another voice asked.

"Completely oblivious. And the purebloods won't know what hit them."

"They'll see how it's like to be persecuted," added the other voice gleefully.

"All we have to do is wait for the start of the next term."

Then, a twig snapped, and Scor realized that it was the one that was underneath his own foot.

"What was that?" hissed the first voice.

"Let's check it out," the second replied sharply.

Rose, Scor and Al, having quickly come to the conclusion that hanging around in these situations was hazardous to one's health, instantly took off running through the bush. There were shouts behind them, but they quickly faded away as the trio tore through the forest.

No one believed what they'd seen, no matter who they told. The headmistress thought it was just their imagination, especially since they couldn't describe the faces of the mysterious voices. Professor Longbottom just shook his head. And the other students were so used to them playing pranks and tricks meant to make a fool out of others that no one thought they were telling the truth.

"But it is the truth!" Scor growled in frustration. "We know it is! We should have stayed to try and find out who it was."

"No one else does, though," Rose answered. "No one is used to taking us seriously because we're never serious."

Ignoring Rose's accusing look, Al added, "Well, we'll just have to wait until something happens. _Then_ they'll believe us. As for me, I haven't told my parents yet, so maybe they'll believe me."

"Maybe, " Rose conceded. "But I'm sure they'll be angry at us for the Hufflepuff thing anyway."

"We'll just have to keep an eye out, and discuss it over the summer," Al said determinedly. Then he grinned, "Scor was right! There is something evil afoot!"

Rose sighed. Sometimes she wondered why she bothered with the pair of them. Not to mention how she had kept her sanity intact. She'd have to ask her mother how she'd managed it when they got home.

"Well," Scor grinned at them. "This will certainly be an interesting summer!"

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Please tell me what you think! Thank you!


	4. Summer of First Year

So sorry for how long it took to update! Classes are rough this year, and so far I have had no time or inspiration to update regularly. It's sad, but school is my priority right now. Luckily, I have two weeks of Christmas break to write, so this should be a good time to get the creativeness flowing! Also, Merry Christmas everyone!

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and I am simply borrowing her characters for my own use.**

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4. In Which Scorpius Invades the Ministry of Magic and Causes more Chaos than Originally Intended

Scorpius sighed as he gazed out the window of his room, and then glanced back at his pile of homework. He'd thought originally that it would be the best summer ever, but so far it had been completely dull. This wasn't his fault of course; if it had been up to him he'd be with Al and Rose doing something fun. As it was, his mother had grounded him for his part in the Hufflepuff Fiasco, and he wasn't allowed to leave his room for the duration of the week except to eat meals with his family. So that left him nothing to do except read and do homework. He'd already read all his books, was pointedly ignoring his homework, and had written five letters to Al. He'd had the strange feeling his father was somewhat pleased with him for pulling off such a stunt, but his mother obviously hadn't agreed.

Al and Rose too had received groundings from their own parents, and to top it all off, Al's father had taken away the invisibility cloak and map from him. James, the owner of the cloak, was particularly annoyed at Al, by all accounts, but that couldn't be helped. Rose wasn't even speaking to them, obviously angry with them for getting her into so much trouble. Scorpius was sure he could talk her out of being mad, but since he was nowhere near her, he'd have to wait until he could see her face to face. His apologies never worked well over paper anyways.

"Scorpius," his father poked his head into his room. "It's lunchtime."

"Dad!" he grinned at him. "About time you came and got me, it's bloody boring in here."

"It's only for two days more, son," Draco rolled his eyes. "Hold on a bit more."

"Hey, dad?" he asked as the two of them left towards the dining room. "Can I go see Al and Rose soon? They're staying at the Burrow for the summer."

"If the Weasleys say you can come over, then yes," the elder Malfoy sighed, resigned to having his son consort with Weasleys and Potters.

"You're the best dad ever," Scorpius confided with a carefree grin.

Draco smiled.

Two days later, and Scorpius' long exile was over, and he joyfully tore out of his room early the next morning. Albus had already sent him an invitation to the Burrow, and he was to leave later that morning. He happily wolfed down several pieces of toast and strawberry jam, then waited for his father to wake up. As soon as he sighted his father he leapt up exuberantly to embrace him cheerfully.

"Father! Hurry up and eat breakfast so we can leave!" he begged with wide guileless grey eyes.

"At least let me have a cup of tea," Draco groaned as he slumped into a seat at the table.

His father managed to get one cup of Earl Grey down before Scorpius dragged him out of the house. It was warm out and the weather was good, so they were taking brooms to the Burrow. The two of them mounted a pair of Nimbus 2020's and took to the air, and Scorpius was surprised to note how agile his father was on the broom.

"I used to be the Seeker for Slytherin," his father told him with a wry smile.

"Really?" he asked, totally shocked. He'd almost forgotten his father had once been a student. "Wait till I tell Al!"

"His father was the Seeker for Gryffindor," at this, his father rolled his eyes.

"But wait… that means you two played against each other!" Scorpius gaped at his father. "You really _did_ know each other!"

"You don't know the half of it," his father grumbled, and then refused to say more on the subject.

Upon touching down at the Burrow, Scorpius was immediately dragged inside by Al and Rose, who was speaking to them again after having survived their punishments. Grandma Weasley, taking pity on the tired-looking Draco, pushed a warm muffin into his hand and sat him down at the table as the three newly reunited Gryffindors disappeared to plot trouble.

"So, obviously, we need to get the cloak back," Scorpius announced once they were safely ensconced in Al's room.

"And how do you propose we do that?" asked Rose haughtily fixing him with a dubious stare.

"We make a plan, and then get it back. And the map too, while we're at it," Scorpius was confident that they could retrieve the wayward items.

"They're in my father's office at the Auror department," reported Al dully.

"We can find a way around that," Scorpius waved his hand airily.

"Scorpius. That room has enough wards around it to keep an army out, never mind us," Rose told him flatly.

"But we're not an army, and it's not like you never visit your dad when he's at work, right?" the blonde raised an eyebrow in imitation of his father.

Rose rolled her eyes, "Even if we can get in, it still means he'd be in there with us. And I would definitely not try to sneak anything past him while he's there, cause the last time James tried that he was grounded for a _month._"

Scorpius appeared to think about it for a long while before saying very slowly, as if thinking out loud, "What we need to do is get just one of us inside and get the other two to cause a distraction so he has to leave."

"You want us to cause a distraction in the Ministry of Magic?" Al's eyes went impossibly wide. "That's pretty gutsy."

"We aren't Gryffindors for nothing, Al!" Scor grinned that carefree grin at him.

Rose harrumphed at them and crossed her arms before saying, "Like Uncle Harry would leave _us_ in his office unattended. He knows better than that."

Just at that moment there was a tiny, barely-there knock on the door and it opened a crack so that two large brown eyes could peer through at them.

"Hi," came the whispered voice. "Grandma Weasley says it's almost lunchtime and to come down soon."

Albus' eyes blinked twice, before he grinned wildly and said, "Perfect! Lily, come in here a moment, will you?"

The girl timidly walked in and looked up at the three of them from underneath her fringe of messy red hair and asked in a very quiet voice, "Yes?"

"We can get Lily to get them," the raven-haired Gryffindor told the other two in excitement. "Dad never suspects her of anything! Then we can cause the distraction altogether!"

"What?" Lily asked, appearing alarmed.

Scorpius leaned forward and smiled winningly at Al's younger sister, "Lily, do you think you can do us a really huge favour?"

"You want me to do what?" asked Draco the next day when his son confronted him.

"I want you to take us to the Ministry tomorrow when you go to work," Scorpius nodded eagerly. "Please?"

"And why would you three need to go to the Ministry?" his father scrutinized him suspiciously.

"There's something there that we need," the young Gryffindor responded promptly. "It's vital to our future plans."

Draco narrowed his eyes and smirked, "I don't suppose it would have anything to do with the fact that Potter has recently hidden an invisibility cloak in his office, does it?"

"You know where it is?" Scor queried exuberantly before remembering that his father was not supposed to find out about their plans. "I mean… of course not!"

"It's behind the portrait of Snape, and I happen to have overheard him say that the password is 'Prongs'. I'll be leaving for work at 7:30 in the morning. Goodnight, son."

Scorpius wasn't entirely certain what to think of that.

"Don't get into too much trouble," were Draco's parting words to his son before he closed his office door on the trio of Gryffindors.

"Okay, let's go!" Scorpius grabbed his friends' sleeves and dragged them into the corridor and from there into a nearby lift.

"So, what is this brilliant plan of yours, Scor?" Rose asked, frowning.

"Cause as much trouble as humanly possible," answered the blond. He took out a package he'd been hiding in his jumper.

"Firecrackers?" asked Al, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, should work, right? I got them from your Uncle George. He said they're 'new and improved'."

"Oh," Rose glared. "Now, come on, I know it worked when he was at Hogwarts, and I've heard the stories, so I know! But this is the Ministry of Magic! It won't work."

"You have to have faith, Rose!" Scorpius admonished her. "We don't need _that_ much havoc, just enough that your uncle leaves the office for a few minutes, just to see what it's about so Lily has enough time to get the things."

"Fine, where are we going to set of the fireworks then?" Rose sighed and slumped her shoulders in defeat.

"Let's get off here," Al said, as the door opened at a random floor.

"Good enough," the pair of them shrugged and Rose followed them apprehensively out onto the level.

"Try this room," Al said, pushing at a door. It didn't open.

"Experimental potions, admittance restricted," Rose read off the door. "No wonder it's locked, this could be dangerous."

"Here," Scorpius took Al's place, and surveyed the door critically. "This one shouldn't be too hard, the warding spells are intense, but the Ministry _never_ thinks anyone would try to get in the Muggle way! So their doors never have bolt locks or anything. Watch."

With that, Scorpius pulled out two ordinary metal kitchen knives that actually looked suspiciously like the one he'd used to butter his toast this morning and slid them into the space between the door and the frame. He put pressure on the first one to open the space wider, then fiddled with the other for a few seconds until there was a heavy 'clunk' and the door popped open. They closed it carefully behind them and surveyed the room they found themselves in.

The room was long and coloured a dull grey, and the lighting was dim. Along the walls, there was a row of cauldrons, some made of ordinary pewter, and others made of a variety of materials, including one made of gold and another very small one made of what looked like crystal.

"Are you sure setting the fireworks off in here is a good idea?" Rose asked dubiously, eyeing the bubbling potions.

"Yeah, of course," Scorpius shrugged as if the answer was obvious.

Rose looked around the room skeptically and then watched apprehensively as Scorpius lit the end of one of the bangers with his wand. Just as the spark was about to reach the end, she eventually asked, "What mark did you get in Potions, Scor?"

"Er…" he shuffled his feet. "A Dreadful, I think."

Rose tried to put out the flame, but it was far to late for that.

The firecracker went off like a clap of thunder and spiraled about the room haphazardly before diving straight into one of the nearest potions. The potions went from being light blue at a low simmer to violent purple-pink and boiling ominously.

"Crap," Scor looked at the potion with an annoyed scowl on his face. "It put it out!"

In answer, Rose upturned a table of vials and dragged both of her friends behind it, just as the potion sprayed everywhere in a fluorescent spray. Scor tried to look over the table, but Rose wisely kept hold off his arm. It was just as well, for a moment later, the sounds of more potions malfunctioning came from behind the barrier.

"Yep, this was a brilliant idea, Scor, one of your better ones," the red-head snarled once the cacophony of explosions quieted.

"I thought so, too," Scor grinned at her cheerfully.

"What's that sizzling noise?" asked Al, twisting around to look.

A moment later, he scrambled away from the table with a yelp, causing everyone to back away to see what he was looking at.

The table had a hole melted right through it the size of a fist, and even as they watched more appeared, hissing and smoking like acid.

Carefully, they stood to survey the destruction. There was potion everywhere, coating the walls and floor in a myriad of different colours. The most alarming effect of the potion disaster was a melted hole in the floor, six feet across that went straight through to the floor below. By approaching the edge, the three could discern that the damage didn't stop there, but went through several floors below.

"Well," Scorpius wrinkled his forehead. "Not quite what I was going for, but that works too."

"Scor, that could have killed someone!" Rose screeched frantically. "In fact, we don't even know if it didn't!"

"We should probably set off the emergency alarm," Al reached over and touched the tip of his wand to a nearby point on the wall that was clearly labeled 'In Case of Emergency Only'.

An loud but slow blaring filled the room, and no doubt someone would come up to investigate. A monotone female voice started to say over and over again, "Emergency on the 3rd level Potions Laboratory".

"We should leave," Scor mused, but it was Rose who discovered that there was another slight emergency.

"The door is sealed on this side," she whispered. "And there is no doorknob."

"What is the point of that?" wailed Al, staring at the door.

Rose trembled, "When you set off the alarm, it must have sealed itself to contain whatever happened inside the room."

"Well, is there another exit we can possibly use?" Scor asked calmly.

"There's a door over there, but it hasn't sealed itself," Al pointed. "Really, we should go now, before they find us here."

"We don't know where that door goes!" Rose gasped.

"It's either that or we wait for the Aurors to get here," Al pointed out. "And that means my dad, which kind of goes against our plan of not being found out."

"Right, no arguing, let's be off!" and it was Scor's turn to drag them to the door, fling it open and close it behind them.

The hallway that they found themselves in was quite empty, and was very obviously a back hallway that either wasn't in use very often or was used by Ministry personnel that didn't care if the state of said hallway wasn't as pristine as the main hallways in use by the public. It was very quiet apart from the faint hum of magical lighting, and also quite narrow. It was bleak and non-descript, with doors on both sides at even intervals, all of which looked exactly like the one they'd come from. Their door was number 385.

"Let's go," Scorpius said, and it echoed strangely down the very empty corridor to be lost somewhere within the depths of the Ministry.

Rose shivered, and the three of them set out with a rapid, hurried pace, steps also echoing loudly, and seeming to multiply so that it was almost as if they were walking with a large group rather than just the three of them. Al kept glancing over his shoulder nervously, which made the other two jittery as well.

"Look, a staircase." Scorpius whispered, trying to keep his voice from expanding into one of the eerie echoes of the abandoned hall.

A flicker caught their attention and Rose gasped out, "The lights are going out behind us!"

Her voice came out strangely muted, as if caught in a strange web that captured only sound. Her words were true, behind them coming from the farthest end and proceeding towards them, the lights were sputtering out, and as they watched, the ones ahead of them were starting to dim as well.

"Only one way to go now," Al gulped.

The three of them scrambled up the stairs in their haste to escape the darkness that was washing over the hall below them. A door came into sight in front of them, and light escaped from the gap underneath the doorway.

"Go!" yelled Scorpius, and the three of them burst out of it at the same time, and the door slammed shut behind them, just as the last light went out behind them.

"That was scary," Rose panted. "Where are we?"

The three looked around to see that they were in what looked like a vast conservatory. The roof was made of glass, and the sun shone through from above and the bright light was enough to make one's eyes water. All around them were different types of plants in pots, or climbing the walls, or bending over in a sweep of boughs.

"Those are Venomous Tentacula," Rose whispered, suddenly being very quiet again. "And those over there are Mandrakes, otherwise known as Mandragora."

"And why should we care about that?" Al asked, rolling his eyes at her bookworm-like tendencies.

"Because the cry of the Mandrake is fatal to those who hear it, so I do suggest you shut up so you don't wake them up!" hissed Rose with wide eyes. She turned around, and her eyes widened impossibly more. She reached out a hand and dragged them away from the plants behind them. "Devil's Snare," she whimpered in explanation.

"What is going on here?" griped Scorpius.

"Of the plants I can identify, which is only three of them mind you, all of them are very hazardous to one's health. This suggests that the rest are probably quite deadly as well. So let's get out of here, and quickly. I knew this was a stupid idea!"

"Then why didn't you stop us?" Al snapped in return as they wove their way through the plants on either side of them. "Miss Know-it-Aaaargh!"

Scorpius and Rose snapped around to find that Albus had been caught by the vines of what looked like a giant lettuce. It was dragging their friend towards the center of all the leaves, and making a sick sort of squelching noise.

"That doesn't sound good," Scorpius drew his wand.

"Expelliarmus!" Rose yelled at the lettuce, and it screamed shrilly, and Al shot out of its grip. Al landed hard on the ground, and the lettuce was propelled backwards, rolling like a giant bowling ball and knocking over the pots of other plants.

They watched in terror as several different plants fluttered or unfurled in response to being upended violently, but most of the stayed where they were otherwise.

"I hope it didn't wake up the Mandrakes," whispered Rose.

And then, one of the plants stood up, towering up above them by several feet, stinging vine lashing out around it as if searching for prey. To the trio's terror, it's roots rippled and then began shuffling towards them.

"Okay, that is not a good sign!" Rose squeaked. "The only plant I recall that matches the description of the one in front of us is the Triffid. Their sting is deadly, and they are intelligent enough to hunt or stalk animals."

"Or us," rasped Al, his throat having gone dry. "Is there an exit anywhere near here?"

"Not unless you count an air vent," Rose glanced around wildly as they backed away from the angry plant. "This counts as an emergency, right?"

"I do, and yes it does, actually," Scorpius knelt and yanked the grill of the end of the vent. It's wide enough to fit us, so let's get out of here before we become plant-food!"

Rose touched the tip of her wand to the very conveniently nearby alarm console, and the three of them crawled into the vent and pulled the grill back on behind them to cover their escape. The alarms began blaring in the room, and as they drew farther away, they could just make out the cool voice announcing the emergency at the Level 1 Dangerous Plant Conservatory.

They crawled for what seemed like hours through endless expanses of vent until their knees were sore from and their hands were cold from the metal. After what seemed like an eternity, they eventually reached a shaft that went downwards, that had a ladder down one side.

"Well," Scorpius shrugged at the other two. "Either we go down or keep going straight, what will it be?"

"Down," Rose answered immediately. "My knees can't take much more of this abuse, and it's not like we've had any luck finding another way out so far."

"Fair enough," the blonde shrugged and led the way, climbing out onto the ladder carefully, with the other two behind him.

They went down, and down, until they were nearly as tired of climbing as of crawling. When a vent finally came into view, they were so tired that they nearly missed it.

"Do we know where it goes?" Rose asked, viewing it suspiciously. "I mean, so far all we've done is stumble into death trap after death trap."

"It's better than staying here, I'm starting to get cold," griped Al. "I can't feel the tips of my fingers."

"Fine, let's go, but don't say I didn't warn you," Rose threatened as they climbed out of the vent and into the room beyond.

When they saw that what faced them was an entire room full of large animals, all of which sported large claws, fangs or beaks, they immediately halted.

"Don't even say it," sighed Scorpius, giving Rose a warning look when she opened her mouth.

"At least they're all in cages," Al said with a sigh of relief. "Is that a Hippogriff?"

"I think it is," Rose gave the animals a look of deepest distrust. "And over there is a chimera, and look, a manticore. Did you know that means 'man-eater' in Greek? Let's get out of here."

"I think that looks like a door!" Al pointed in excitement. "It might be an exit!"

They rushed towards it, but drew to a sudden halt as they found themselves facing a large feline creature with a woman's head. And this one was not in a cage.

"A sphinx," whispered Rose. "They're using her as a door guard."

"Does this mean that we have to get past her to get out?" Al asked fearfully.

In answer, the sphinx herself opened large, yellow eyes and said, "Yes, do you wish to pass?"

Scorpius, intending to answer 'No thank you', instead said, "Yes."

He blinked and then gave Rose a look that clearly spoke of his confusion. He tried to say something else, "My name is Al-Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy."

Frustrated, he yelled, "My favorite colour is r-blue."

"There's a griffin over in the corner," Rose pointed out a large winged creature. "You can't lie in the vicinity of one."

"Just great," griped Scorpius. Again, he addressed the sphinx, "Yes, I would like to pass."

"Very well," the sphinx blinked her eyes and said, "But first you must answer this riddle. Answer correctly and you may pass, answer incorrectly and I will attack. If you do not answer you may not pass, but your silence will not bring my wrath."

"Fine, let's hear the riddle, then," Rose demanded.

The sphinx recited clearly:

"I have hands, but I cannot write

And a face, but I have no sight

My voice chimes, but a mouth I lack

I count always forwards, but never back

I can tell what time you're due

As long as time exists, I shall too

What am I?"

Rose looked perplexed, but Scorpius answered promptly, "A clock."

"Very well, you may pass," and the leonine creature stepped aside so they could continue.

"When did you become smart, Scor?" Rose asked, very put out by his quick answer to the sphinx's question.

"My father liked riddles," was his only answer.

"We're finally getting somewhere," Al sighed as they pushed open the door.

Immediately, an alarm, different than the ones they had set off previously, started wailing loudly.

"Security breach in the Department of Mysteries," went the same, cool voice in the same monotone as usual. "Magical Creatures ward is open."

"Well, piss!" snapped Scorpius. "We should get out of here, my dad works on this level and if he catches us, I don't know – "

"What do you think you're doing?" asked a very familiar voice behind them.

They turned to find Scorpius' father looking down at them with a disapproving look on his face.

"Hi, dad!" the blond smiled winningly up at his father.

"How did you get the door open?" his father sighed. "It needs an Unspeakable's magical signature to unlock. Not only that, you shouldn't have even been able to see the door, let alone get it open."

"Er… we came from the other side, Mr. Malfoy," squeaked Al.

The elder Malfoy blinked at him with narrowed grey eyes before saying, "Pardon me, but did you just say you opened it from inside the room?"

"Er…" the three of them fell guiltily silent.

"Never mind, I think it's safer not knowing," he scowled at them. "Come with me, I'm sending you back through my Floo straight away so that no other unfortunate mishaps occur. Did you know that someone knocked over the Carnivorous Cabbage on Level 1 and set the Triffids loose?"

The three of them refused to meet his eye.

"Oh merciful Merlin, I knew I didn't want to know. Let me guess, the Potions Lab meltdown had absolutely nothing to do with you either, right?"

"Ask me no questions, and I shall tell you no lies," Scorpius muttered.

"Just get in my office. I have a feeling you'll do less damage if I can keep an eye on you," Scorpius' father massaged the bridge of his nose.

The Floo flared to life as Draco threw in the powder and shouted 'Malfoy Manor', before indicating that they should go through.

Just before he stepped into the green flames, Scorpius said, "I wonder if Lily succeeded."

When the three of them were gone, Draco breathed a sigh of relief and then left to help the other departments with the mass confusion they had left behind. The Aurors suspected terrorist groups, and even from here he could hear Potter shouting orders to organize the pandemonium. One thing was for sure: his son was going nowhere near the Ministry ever again, if he had anything to say about it.

* * *

So, that was a bit more adventure-like than funny this time around. As for the Triffids from the conservatory, the original idea came from John Wyndham's _The Day of the Triffids_. Give credit where credit is due, after all. Anyway, enough about me, what did you think? And again, Merry Christmas to everyone and a Happy New Year!


	5. Fall of Second Year

Yay, this update is faster! I had a brilliant Christmas, hope everyone else did as well. I'm making it one of my New Years resolutions to update this faster, so hopefully I'll keep to that one!

Also, thank you to **kittenonabroomstick** for reviewing, because I couldn't reply to you! Just so you know, your review gave me the greatest idea! So glad you commented!

Now, on with the show!

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and I am simply borrowing her characters for my own use.**

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5. In Which Scorpius is Banned Henceforth from the Library and Infuriates an Ex-Auror

Come September 1st, Scorpius was once again at the train station, along with his father. His mother was in Paris because her sister was sick, so it was just him and Draco this year. He dutifully remained by his father's side, although he really wanted to be searching out Al and Rose. He knew the elder Malfoy was just as anxious as the year before about sending him off to school, especially after the pandemonium they had caused at the Ministry the past summer.

"Isn't that Potter's eternally messy, black-haired head over there I see?" came the dry remark from next to him.

Immediately, he whipped about in the direction his father was indicating and, spotting said messy black hair, tore off after it. Next to his friend was Rose, her Weasley-red locks standing out in the crowd. The pair of them must have heard his trainers pounding the ground, because they both turned just as he launched himself at them.

"Rose! Al! I missed you!" he exclaimed as he threw an arm around each of them.

"You saw us a couple days ago, Scor," Rose rolled her eyes and pried the blond off of her.

"Hurry, the train leaves in a couple of minutes!" Al reminded them.

The three of them dragged their trunks over and loaded them safely onto the train. They only had about half a minute left when Scorpius remembered that his father was still there on the platform to see him off. He swept his eyes about and finally found the familiar Malfoy-grey eyes watching him, a bit sadly, a bit wistfully and all-over nerve-wracked. He jumped off the train and rushed over to his father, throwing his thin arms around the elder's body in a fierce embrace.

"Don't worry dad, I'll be fine," he promised swiftly.

"Be safe, son," his father returned. "Now shoo, the train's leaving."

He leapt back on, and just as the train was about to lurch to a start, he leaned out the window and yelled as loudly as he could, "I love you, Dad!"

His calm and collected father turned faintly pink when he realized that many of the other parents were looking between him and his son curiously. But right before the train picked up speed, he smiled.

The three Gryffindors once again found themselves on the roof of the train, this time without having been caught by prefects. And this time, they'd remembered to properly provision themselves before setting off, with chocolate frogs, and pumpkin pasties, and lots of Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans.

"So," Rose announced as she bit into a Cauldron Cake. "Mission success: Lily was able to grab both the map and the cloak. In fact, we caused such a ruckus, that she also found and ate Uncle Harry's secret stash of chocolate frogs."

"Oh, good," Scorpius commented, while trying and failing to stop his platinum locks from flying around in the wind.

"On the other hand, she made us promise to do something for her before she gave the items up. I swear, she never used to be so devious," Al muttered.

"A promise?" Scorpius had a feeling that it was not an ordinary type of promise.

"She wants Polyjuice Potion," Rose said glumly. "How are we supposed to get that?"

"We'll have to make it," Scorpius replied easily. "Er, did you ask what she wanted to use it for?"

"No way! She was black-mailing us!" Al cried. "Threatened to tell dad about the Ministry fiasco and how it was our fault."

"Harsh," Scorpius sighed and blew a piece of hair out of his eyes. "Deadline?"

"Halloween," Rose snarled, frustrated. "That gives us two months. And I think that the potion takes at least a month to brew!"

"We'll just have to get started right away, then!" Scor grinned.

"Oh, you're incorrigible," Rose snapped.

"Why do I get the ominous feeling Lily is going to be a Slytherin?" Al sighed.

"So," Rose interrupted. "The instructions for the creation of a Polyjuice Potion I know can be found in the book _Moste Potente Potions_, which is in the Restricted Section, so first we have to get that."

And thus began their plans for the new school year.

"It's only the second night back!" Rose was aghast. "We can't do it yet!"

"But time is of the essence, is that not right?" Scor grinned at her. "So it only follows that we need to get the book and ingredients as soon as possible."

"But it's only the second night," grumbled Rose. "Okay, fine then. But if we are caught, then I blame you."

"Where are we actually going to make the potion?" Al piped up suddenly. "I mean, it is an illegal potion, if anyone notices we're making it, we'll be in trouble. Not just the type of trouble where you get detention, the type where you get expelled!"

"I'd suggest the Room of Requirement, but James knows where it is and might notice if he can't get into it for a month," Rose groaned. "That leaves one option: Moaning Myrtle's bathroom."

"Well, we're all set, let's go!" the blond tugged his friends to their feet, and Al took the Invisibility Cloak out from underneath his jumper after making sure there was no one watching them.

"Come on," Al whispered, and they crept out of the common room and into the dark hallways of Hogwarts.

Sneaking around at Hogwarts had become much harder over the years. Filch had retired the year before, taking the dreaded feline Mrs. Norris with him. But in his place, he left behind an ex-Auror with a slight limp and fingers missing on her right hand. But her senses were sharp, and as usual with ex-Aurors, she was quite paranoid. She was less grumpy than Filch had been, but her sense of justice irreplaceable. Evangeline Kane was not a woman to mess around with, and the trio knew they would have a hard time sneaking around her, even with the Invisibility Cloak.

"Did you bring the map?" hissed Rose.

"Yeah," Al glared at his cousin and opened it up.

"Where's Kane?" Scorpius asked in a hushed whisper.

Al surveyed the map for about a minute before replying, "Dungeons, near the Slytherin common room."

"Good, we just have to get down to the library and out again without her catching us," Scorpius replied confidently.

"Why couldn't we do this tomorrow, or during the day?" Rose griped. "It's cold out here in the corridors."

"Maybe because a book moving around by itself is slightly suspicious?" Scorpius raised his eyebrows, but Rose missed it in the darkness.

Nevertheless, she got the sarcasm, and responded with, "It's not as is we'd pick it up when someone was looking!"

"Too risky," Al pointed out. "There are too many people out, we'd have bumped into someone."

"Look out, Kane's on the move," Rose pointed at the map as the dot labeled with the ex-Auror's name moved up several levels.

"Come one, let's get a move on before she comes this way," Scorpius grabbed Rose and Al's elbows and heaved them down the hall.

They made it to the library without any mishaps along the way, even though Rose and Al argued the whole time. They even got into the Restricted Section with no trouble and located the potions book with ease. The problem was, that it was on the highest shelf in the library.

"Easy," Scor said with a shrug. "We'll just climb up!"

Before Rose could stop him, he'd scrambled up the shelf.

"Or we could levitate it down," she sniffed, and with a mumbled charm, did just that, leaving a scowling blond atop the shelves with no purpose.

"Fine, take the easy way out," he muttered and started to climb down.

Inevitably, he stepped on the hem of his robes and slipped. He yelped in alarm and with a flailing hand, he grabbed the edge of the closest shelf. His weight caused the entire bookcase to wobble, and several of the books fell to the floor. The already overbalanced shelf tilted even more and started an almost slow-motion descent. Scorpius, realizing the danger, let out another yip and let go of the shelf and scurried out of the way of the impending disaster.

The bookcase hit the one next to it. What followed could only be described as 'the Domino Effect', and the bookcases fell one after another, spilling books to the floor. If the crashing wasn't loud enough on its own, somewhere lost in the pile, a high-pitched screaming started, and didn't stop.

"Al, the map!" Rose gasped as she helped her blond friend up from the floor.

Al quickly opened the map and gasped out, "I solemnly swear I am up to no good!"

There on the map, coming up the hallway at a rapid pace and heading straight for the library, was a dot labeled 'Evangeline Kane'.

"Do you have the book, Rose?" Scorpius asked quickly.

"Yes, right here," she held it up.

Scor snatched the map from Al, picked up the Invisibility Cloak from the floor and threw it over her head.

"Go and hide," he instructed her. "Me and Al will be the distraction. Stay under there! You, the book, the Cloak and the map have to be kept safe."

They heard her footsteps retreating behind the rows of books on the other side of the library, the ones that had not been knocked over.

"You do realize that we will very likely be caught, right?" Al asked slowly.

Scor grinned at him, "Yep! Probably will. So, if we're going down, we might as well go down fighting!"

Al returned the grin, and the two took off running flat out, straight towards the library entrance, where the caretaker awaited them.

_Dear father,_

_I regret to inform you that I have yet another detention. I think that maybe Professor Longbottom might have sent you a letter already, or maybe he will, because last time he threatened to if Al and I got another detention. Well, we did. I know it's only the second day, but we really had to. I know you don't believe me, but its only cause Lily is blackmailing us. Do you know how to get out of this kind of situation, dad? Cause it really sucks. _

_I think you'd like Lily._

_Anyway, that's the story, so just thought you should know._

_ Yours in suffering,_

_ Scorpius_

_ Scorpius_

_When you told me your story, you left out the part where you and Albus knocked over all the shelving in the Restricted Section of the library and then proceeded to lead poor Miss Kane on a chase all over the school for hours on end. Whatever book Miss Weasley no doubt smuggled out of the library for you had better not be overly dangerous, not to mention, worth the risk. If you don't behave, I'm not going to be able to convince your mother that you need a new broom for Christmas. Which reminds me, have Quidditch tryouts happened yet? _

_As for Lily, I'm sure she's a very smart girl, so blackmailing her in return will probably be hard. _

_ Good luck, son_

_ Father _

The letter from his father reminded Scorpius of something very important, and that was that during the second week of September, the Gryffindor team was holding Quidditch tryouts. He and Al wanted to try out for Beater positions, and Rose was coming to watch them. Even though Rose was an avid Chudley Cannons fan, she still preferred watching to playing. The three of them had taken to going outside after classes and practicing their flying. Scorpius and Al both had Nimbus 2020s, and Rose had a newer Cleansweep model. The two boys thought they stood a good chance of getting onto the team.

When the day of the tryouts finally arrived, it was a great day for flying, with clear weather conditions: sunny but not too sunny, no wind and no rain. Rose sat in the stands to watch her friends progress, and Al and Scor were on the ground with their brooms slung over their shoulders. The Chaser tryouts were going first, so that left the two of them to wait their turn.

"I bet Rose is bored," Al commented, watching Rose sitting alone in the stands.

"Nah," the blond replied easily. "We'll be up soon. Hey, look, Beaters bats!"

He was right, there were two of them lying there on the ground, quite harmlessly. Al picked one up and tossed the other one at his friend's head. Scor caught it easily enough and gave it an experimental swing.

"No one will notice if we practice a bit," Al said, nodding towards the case that held the other balls, including the Bludgers.

Scor needed no further prompting, and quickly released one of the black balls that was straining against its restraints. It immediately shot at his head and he smashed it hard with the Beater's bat, straight at his raven-haired friend. Al let out a squeak and hit it back in return. They actually managed to volley it between them a few more times, before Al hit it towards his brother James who was flying towards the hoops with the Quaffle under his arm. It looked like it was going to hit him right between the shoulder blades, but it seemed as if the elder Potter had some sort of sixth sense, because he flipped over, causing the Bludger to miss by inches. And he finished this swift maneuver by very quickly and precisely putting the Quaffle through the center ring.

"Oh no, now the Bludger's loose!" Scor mounted his broom and shot after it, smacking it back towards Al, who captured it again.

That's when they noticed that they were now the center of attention, and the captain, a seventh-year girl with long black hair was examining them critically.

"Sorry," Al ducked his head.

She didn't answer, just walked towards them slowly and circled around them carefully. Then, she seized Al's arm and then poked him.

"You're rather skinny," she told him. "And you as well Blondie, very small for Beaters. But that was a good hit, if it had connected, would have unseated him for sure. Was it you who hit it, Potter?"

Al nodded miserably, shooting an apologetic look at James.

"Good Quidditch lineage," she commented idly. "Mother was a professional Quidditch player for the Harpies, father was the youngest Seeker in a century and older brother is our star Chaser. And you, who are you?"

This comment was thrown at Scor, who replied by tossing back his blond hair, lifting his chin and saying defiantly, "Scorpius Malfoy."

"Ah, your father was a seeker for Slytherin. What's so special about you?" the girl didn't look nearly as impressed.

"Release the Bludger, and I'll show you," Scor shot back.

"No doubt about it, you're definitely a Malfoy," she shook her head. "Okay, mount your broom, kid."

She shot Bludger after Bludger at him, telling him what targets to hit. Scor ducked and wove through the air, graceful and lithe, but he hit every target. Finally, she stopped, and the blond boy landed smoothly in front of her before fixing her with a defiant look.

"You've got spirit, Malfoy," she said at last. "I don't know if I introduced myself, but I'm Simone Vance. Welcome to the team."

She turned to Al and nodded once, "You too, little Potter. James, kit them up."

And that was how they both came to be Beaters for the Gryffindor House team.

*********

Rose had been nagging them to get a move on with the potion, because it was already three weeks into September, and they hadn't gotten anything for the Polyjuice potion yet. The only two things that were going to prove difficult to obtain were the Boomslang skin and the bicorn horn, both of which were rare and expensive ingredients. The only place to get them would be in the Potions master's private stores, but ever since the time that a Death Eater had broken into the storage cupboard for that exact purpose, they had been warded by several layers of protective spells.

"This is impossible!" griped Rose as they studied in the Great Hall, because since they'd knocked over the shelves, Al and Scor were banned from going in the library.

"My father suggested we blackmail her back," the blond Gryffindor shrugged.

"With what?" moaned Al. "There's nothing we know about her that is blackmail-worthy! Only that she helped in getting back the cloak, and our part was so much worse that hers won't even be noticed."

"Well, we'll just have to find out what she wanted the potion for," Rose said decisively.

"Good luck with that," Al growled in annoyance. "She's at home and we're here."

"We'll find a way!" Scorpius announced enthusiastically.

Neither of the other two was optimistic.

The trio had made no headway on either count, when one day after Quidditch practice it just so happened that James wanted to know something.

"Do you lot know who Edwin Nott is?" he asked them.

"Yeah, he's in our Potions class. Slytherin," Scor reported as the other two nodded in confirmation.

"Well, Lily keeps writing to me, wanting to know about him," James rolled his eyes. "But the strange thing is, that she wants me to get her something from a different person, a Blaire Zabini. Apparently, she wants a single strand of her hair. Any idea why?"

"Zabini is one of Nott's friends," Rose said thoughtfully. "Do you think she likes Nott, James?"

James snorted, "Yeah, I think she likes him _too_ much, actually. Although I want to know where she met him, that little sneak."

"Ah, so you noticed that, too," Al sighed. "Actually, we do know why she wants the hair."

"Al!" Rose admonished him. "That is sensitive information!"

"Polyjuice potion," Scor put in helpfully.

"Scor!" Rose hissed and smacked his arm.

"In for a Knut, in for a Galleon," the blond shrugged unapologetically.

James looked at the three, "Okay then, so what do we do about it? I don't want my little sister getting involved in anything like that."

"We could threaten to tell Uncle Harry," Rose suggested in defeat.

"No way, she'd just turn those big, teary eyes at him and deny the whole thing. And he'd believe her, too," Al wrinkled his nose.

"Or we could threaten to tell the Slytherin in question," Scor commented. "I mean, then there's no way he'd ever like her, right?"

"Very true," James put in. "I'll leave it up to you then."

And that is exactly what they did.

********

It had been months now since the incident in the forest and the overheard conversation, and since nothing had happened the three of them had forgotten it completely. The situation with Lily had driven it completely from their minds. But that changed on the night of All Hallow's Eve. The annual Halloween feast was in progress, but the three of them had decided to eat down in the kitchens, just because it was a form of rebellion they could take that wouldn't get them into too much trouble if they were caught.

"This is brilliant treacle tart," Al was commenting when suddenly he drew his feet up onto the bench with a cry of alarm.

The other two had that second's warning before their feet were drenched in water up to their ankles.

"What's going on?" asked Scorpius, but instead of waiting for a response, he jumped to his feet and ran out of the kitchen, the other two on his heels.

They followed the steady flow of water to its source and were shocked to find it came from the dungeons. When they tried to go down the corridor, they found that the entire place was flooded with water.

"Slytherin is down there," Rose said numbly.

"We have to warn everyone!" Al said, his voice quivering.

"Come on," Scor grabbed their elbows and they set of at a dead run towards the Great Hall.

Once they got there, they burst through the doors, startling everyone as they ran up the aisle between the long tables. They skidded to a halt in front of the High Table and once Scor had gotten his breath back, he yelled the words that sent the rest of the school into a panic.

"The dungeons have flooded!"

The teachers didn't look convinced, but the Headmistress took one look at the pure shock on their faces and took off at a run towards the dungeons. After a moment, the rest of the teachers followed her, drawing their wands as they went. As soon as they were gone, a first-year Slytherin girl started crying, and the rest of the Hall dissolved into pandemonium.

After that incident, the Slytherins were all forced to room elsewhere, and the whole school was paranoid that another would occur. Especially the Slytherins, who took to wandering the school in large groups.

"Do you think that this has to do with whatever it was we heard in the forest last year?" Rose asked in a hushed voice.

"I don't know, maybe," Scor replied, looking serious for once. "We should keep an eye out anyway."

"What can we do about it?" asked Al dully. "It's not as if we know how to handle this type of thing."

"We can tell your dad if we find out anything, that's what," the blond Gryffindor shot back at him and cuffed him on the arm. "Cheer up, mate. It'll be okay."

"I really hope you're right, Scor," Rose sighed and looked out the window that overlooked the lake. "I really, really hope you're right."

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Is this getting too serious? Tell me what you think, and hopefully I can fix any errors you spot or whatever. I'll be very happy to hear from you!


	6. Winter of Second Year

Wow, it took FOREVER to actually post this… sorry about the wait people! I promise I'll get the next one out sooner than the last! My finals are coming up soon, and after that I'll be able to write WAY more. Thanks for reading everyone!

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and I am simply borrowing her characters for my own use.**

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6. In Which Scorpius Uses Polyjuice Potion

It was almost winter break, and life at Hogwarts castle was finally returning to normal, with the Slytherins going back to their home in the dungeons. The day it started snowing, the three Gryffindor troublemakers were in the library, hiding in the very back where the librarian wouldn't notice Al and Scor, who were still banned. The two boys were trying to finish a Transfiguration essay that Rose had already done when the red-haired girl suddenly sat up.

"What?" asked Al blearily, writing on his parchment going crooked as he looked away from it to concentrate on his cousin.

"I've just realized something," Rose announced.

"What?" added Scor, raising a blond eyebrow in imitation of his father.

She gave them both a severe look before continuing, "We haven't returned _Moste Potente Potions_ to the library yet."

"Well, to return it would be admitting we had it in the first place," Al mumbled. "I mean, no one's missed it yet, so it should be fine, yeah?"

"What should we do with it then?" Rose persisted sternly.

Scor shrugged, "Keep it. You like books, right? Or we could use it."

"Use it?" Rose screeched. Several heads turned in their direction and she lowered her voice to a hiss, "May I remind you that the Polyjuice potion is illegal?"

"Who said anything about a Polyjuice potion?" Al grumbled. "Anyway, we either use it or just leave it somewhere, like at the bottom of your trunk."

"Let's do it," Scor started grinning in a way that made Rose groan. "In fact, let's start right away, so that we can use it after winter break!"

"Leave starting it till after," Al shook his head. "Can't have Kane finding it while we're not here, yeah?"

"True," the blond said solemnly. "Alright then, let's go! We have to find a way into that storage cupboard before January!"

Rose's head fell into her hands as the two boys grinned idiotically at each other.

"Out! Out!"

It seemed as if the librarian had finally noticed their presence, and the trio fled the scene quickly, before a detention could follow.

"Now what are you studying?" Al sighed and leaned over Rose's shoulder to look at the book she was reading, later that evening.

"It isn't more Transfiguration, is it?" Scor came and hovered over her other side.

"No," she said primly as she turned another page. "It's a book on how to properly dismantle warding spells."

"What, really?" they both asked at the same time.

"Of course," she snorted. "If you two are going to try and break into the storage cupboard, I might as well try and find a way to disarm them so you won't get caught."

"You're brilliant, Rose!" Al told her enthusiastically.

"Wait, aren't warding spells advanced magic?" Scor asked. "My dad knows how to do them, had to take an entire course on them at the Ministry."

"I know," Rose sniffed, not looking up from the page. "Where do you think I got this book?"

"Rose, you're 12," Al tried to explain. "And those are specialized spells that Mr. Malfoy learned _after_ he left Hogwarts. In fact, didn't he invent one of them, Scor?"

"Yeah, Dad's kind of awesome like that," the blonde shrugged. "Well, all Rose can do is try, right? If it doesn't work, then that's that."

"Scor, I want to talk to your dad," Rose said very directly one day during winter break.

The blond shrugged, but took her to see his father, where she immediately made a deal with the older Malfoy: he would teach her everything to know about warding spells and she would do everything in her power to keep his son out of trouble for the next six years they were at Hogwarts. He agreed, of course, and she left very satisfied with his promise he would teach her every day until they went back to school.

"Of course," she grinned mischievously, "I _already_ try and keep you out of trouble anyway, so I'm really getting this for free!"

"Scor, we've created a monster!" Al whispered frantically to his friend as Rose marched away triumphantly.

"I don't doubt it in the least, Al," Scor sighed. "What a scary specimen of womankind."

"She is _almost _as scary as Lily," Al agreed.

Lily had been stalking around them the whole winter break, giving them ominous looks and promising that her retribution would be upon them soon.

"Watch your backs," she warned them balefully.

"She had used to be so sweet and shy," Scor sighed mournfully.

But Rose had shook her head and replied doubtfully, "You know, I'm not sure she ever was that innocent to begin with."

"And here I thought she was going to be a Hufflepuff," Al said glumly.

By the time that winter break was over, to Al and Scor's great astonishment, Rose had learned how to take down and put back up the simplest warding spell.

"It's not at all easy," she admitted to them. "It takes the greatest of concentration and is extremely tiring. But I think that this is probably the kind being used on the cupboard, so I will be satisfied with that for now. Later, when I am older, I'll get Mr. Malfoy to teach me the rest. Did you know that he can do non-verbal spells? You know, without saying the incantation out loud? It's ever so fascinating."

This meant that they could get into the cupboard with the potions ingredients, so they agreed that they would use the map and cloak to get in without being caught.

"This time, don't go knocking over shelves," Rose warned the blond Gryffindor with a threatening shake of her finger.

Scor looked at her sheepishly from under his fringe and then the three of them at last came upon that which they had been searching for.

"Be very quiet," Rose ordered sharply, and Al made a zipping motion with his fingers over his mouth in acquiescence.

Rose raised her want above her head and began speaking slowly and clearly, all the while moving her wand in a pattern over the door. It glowed briefly, and then Rose opened her eyes and nodded once.

"It is done," she told them. "Hurry and get the ingredients we need. Let me rest a moment, doing the incantation tires me."

Al answered by rummaging through the cupboard, and upon finding the required ingredients, tossed them out to Scor. The blond stashed them in his robes and then gave the redhead girl a thumbs-up. In response, she stood and raised her wand, repeating the words she'd used before and doing the wand movements in reverse order. After she finished she leaned against a desk and breathed out slowly.

"That is really hard," Rose said in a low voice.

"Well, if _Rose_ admits that it's hard, then it really must be," Al grinned at her.

"Let's just go," she snapped and heaved herself off the desk.

The potion would take around a month to complete, and it was very difficult. At times they had to sit there for hours to watch it and stir it at appropriate times. As they had agreed earlier, they were creating the potion in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, and the ghost-girl was thrilled to have visitors at whom she could wail.

"You look like Harry," she commented dreamily one day.

Al blinked at her in surprise, "How do you know my dad?"

"He went down the secret door in my bathroom to fight a monster, and I hoped ever so much that he would die. But he didn't… I don't suppose you would oblige me?" the girl fluttered transparent eyelashes at him.

Scor tried to muffle a snigger and ended up in a fit of hiccoughs that sent Myrtle back to her toilet sanctuary in tears.

"What was that about a secret door?" Al asked, trying to ignore his blond friend's choked laughter. "Shut up, Scor."

"She must be referring to how Uncle Harry went to fight the basilisk when he went to school. I remember Dad telling us how they went through a the bathroom sink."

"Er… what?" Scor stopped laughing to consider this bit of information. "You mean to say that Mr. Potter went through the sink to fight a giant deadly snake and he _won_? How old was he?"

"Our age apparently," Rose shrugged. "But he had help! A phoenix came and gave him the Sorting Hat and it dropped the Sword of Gryffindor on his head."

"You're telling me a kid our age won a fight against a basilisk with a sword?" Scor's eyes went very large. "No wonder he beat Voldemort."

"He doesn't _look_ like he could beat a basilisk," Rose pondered contemplatively. "I know he's your dad and all, Al, but seriously, he's just not that impressive."

"Impressive? He's Head Auror!" Al fumed.

"I know, it's just that he's so small and skinny… my dad has a good 8 inches on him!" the red-head waved her arms in the air for emphasis.

"Yeah, well your dad is freakishly tall, so there!" Al shot back, green eyes flashing with annoyance.

"6'4" is not freakishly tall!" his cousin cried out. "Just… more tall than most people."

"You know what we should do?" Scor announced suddenly.

"Oh, this can't be good," Rose groaned. "Whenever Scor has an idea, we always end up in trouble."

"We should try and find a way through the sink!" exclaimed the blond.

"Knew it," she grumbled. "You know, Scor, the reason it is called the Chamber of Secrets is because it is _secret_."

"Yeah, not even our dad told us how he managed to get in," Al added.

"Well, we should find out then," pouted the young Malfoy as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"No, we shouldn't. Isn't it bad enough that we're brewing Polyjuice Potion in the abandoned girl's lavatory without adding this to the mix?" the girl griped. "Add the powdered bicorn horn."

They continued with the potion as planned, but Scor still held the idea of the Chamber of Secrets and it's entrance in his head.

One week when the potion was nearing completion and it the boys were taking a turn watching the potion, Rose came running into the room out of breath and flushed with excitement.

"What is it?" Albus scrunched up his nose. "Did you get perfect marks on our last Transfiguration assignment or something?"

"Don't be an idiot, she _always_ gets perfect on assignments," Scorpius responded with an eye-roll for emphasis.

"No, there's a Valentine's Day dance coming up! It was just announced at lunch!" she replied, eyes gleaming. "I have the _best_ idea!"

"We're missing lunch?" Al yelped, looking at his watch. "Crap."

"What's this idea of yours?" the blond Gryffindor raised an eyebrow.

"I think we should use the Polyjuice!" Rose announced.

Both the boys blinked at her before asking in unison, "For what?"

"Well I'm going to find out about this Nott character that Lily seems to have become attached to," Rose told them seriously. "I have to figure out what's going on!"

"How do you propose to do that?" Al scrunched up his eyebrows.

"I need to Polyjuice as the Zabini girl, and that way I can question him about Lily, and find out how she knows him," Rose frowned in concentration.

"And what are _we _supposed to do while you're off after Nott?" Scor yawned.

"Go cause trouble somehow, obviously," Rose shot him a look. "I thought you two were good at that, hm? It's not like you need my help for that."

Al's eyes widened in incredulous surprise, "You mean to tell me you're giving us permission to go and cause a ruckus at the dance?"

She shrugged, "It's more like I can't really stop you even if I wanted to. Besides, it's not like you'll get caught if you do it right."

Neither boy knew what to say to that.

"So, you have Zabini's hair?" Scorpius asked as he dressed in a pair of dark blue dress-robes. "And what did you do with the _real_ Blaire Zabini?"

"Oh, she's locked in some closet somewhere," Rose waved her hand dismissively. "It was _so_ easy to get her to go in, too. Who knew that Slytherins were so gullible? So, who are _you _going as?"

"Er… we grabbed some hair off a couple guy's robes, it was no problem," Scor shrugged. "They didn't even notice. It helped that we knocked them out first."

"Okay, the dress robes are all ready… damn, it annoys me, I went and bought some new dress robes for this silly thing and now I have to wear Blaire's stupid _green_ ones…" the red-head muttered as she pulled them on, and then eyed the already poured goblets of smoking liquid. "I have mine with me anyway in case these look hideous on me…"

Albus and Scor ignored her as they both went into separate stalls with their own respective goblets. Scor tipped his back right away, swallowing it down easily. He grimaced at the taste, and he hadn't managed to get the flavour out of his mouth before he convulsed and fell on his knees to the tiled floor. He vaguely heard coughing from the next stall over as Al choked down his portion. His skin rippled strangely, and he felt the hair on his head being sucked back into his scalp until it was cropped short. His bones stretched out slightly and he felt his facial features ooze together and reshape themselves.

Just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over, and the Gryffindor boy climbed to his feet to look at himself in the mirror. He'd thought about being Smith, but was glad he'd decided not to be. The boy standing before him was a third-year Hufflepuff friend of Smith's that was relatively good-looking – at least in comparison to Smith. He straightened his robes and stepped out of the stall. Blaire Zabini was fussing over her robes and hair in the mirror, and Scor almost yelled in surprise before he remembered who it really was.

"R-Rose?" he stumbled over his words.

"Is that Scor or Al in there?" she asked, peering at him.

"Scor," he answered as he glanced back at the stall his friend had been occupying. "I dunno what happened to Al…"

"I've got to go. I must put my plan in motion immediately!" she fisted a hand in determination.

"So you decided against the green?" he asked looking at the robes hanging off a towel rack.

"Yes, it was… just too Slytherin!" Rose glared at the offending object.

"Rose… you're pretending to be a Slytherin tonight," Scor tried to remind her.

"Got to go, time's of the essence!" she announced, and left before he could say another word.

"Al, you okay in there?" he queried carefully. He hadn't asked before cause Rose had been there, but now that she was gone he was worried about the lack of response from the other Gryffindor.

"I'm fine!" a voice all but squeaked back at him. "Really, I'm fine! You can go!"

"Al, what the hell is wrong?" demanded Scor, knowing his friend well enough to know something was up.

"It wasn't that Hufflepuff guy's hair! I mean… it _is_ a Hufflepuff's hair… but…" the voice trailed off in mortification. "I can't go anywhere like this!"

By this time Scor had climbed over the stall wall next to his and found himself staring at a pair of large blue eyes, and a heart-shaped face. And a skinny female body dressed up in baggy wizard robes, that wouldn't have been too big for the Hufflepuff boy Al had been _supposed_ to be…

"You're a girl…" Scor said faintly.

"I know!!!" wailed Al in the higher pitched girl's voice. "It's so embarrassing! I have… I have…"

He broke off to stare sullenly at his own chest, and it was then that Scor realized that his friend had _breasts_.

"You…" Scor started.

"Shut up!" Al scowled at him. "I refuse to be seen like this!"

Five minutes later, Al was dressed in Blaire's discarded green dress robes along with Scor who was still in the dark blue ones he'd been wearing previously. They were walking towards the Great Hall, while Al nervously adjusted the robes around his newfound assets.

"These are _bloody heavy_," his friend hissed, shifting them around again. "I don't like this, Scor, why are we going anyway?"

"To cause havoc, of course," his friend grinned at him.

Al glowered impressively, "Not bloody likely!"

"Quit touching those," snapped Scor, batting the other boy's hands away and yanked them down to his side.

"But…" Al whined, hands twitching.

Scor sighed and rolled his eyes as he grabbed his friend's hand. "There, now you can't touch yourself… God that sounds wrong… and it won't look weird cause you're a girl."

"I'm _not_ a girl!" Al grumbled, but allowed the other boy to keep possession of his hand. "Okay fine, what are we gonna do?"

The boy pulled a scrap of parchment out of his robes with his spare hand and looked it over, "Well, Rose taught me this spell that I thought was funny… it turns the floor to ice… I even took notes!"

Al rolled his now-blue eyes and took out his wand, "Let's get to it then!"

As it turned out, the spell wasn't all that hard to perform, and with a casual flourish of their wands, most of the floor of the Great Hall was covered in ice. A nearby Ravenclaw let out a shriek as she slipped and fell… straight into her date's waiting arms. In fact, even the people who actually _did_ fall didn't seem to mind so much, getting up cheerfully to slide on the ice. Soon there were tons of students sliding on the ice, and a few of the older ones had even transfigured their shoes into skates.

"Scor, this was a failure if there ever was one," Al grumbled, staring at the rest of the happy students.

Scor shrugged, "You win some, you lose some… we might as well skate a bit since we're here…"

Al sighed and the two stepped out onto the ice.

Unfortunately for Al, they forgot all about the Polyjuice and by the time they remembered, Al had already changed back. He got a strange reputation after that incident….

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Hey all! Thanks for finishing reading the whole silly chapter! Hey, next up is Lily's revenge! So all you Slytherins out there, you gotta help me out! What is a good revenge idea? I'm a Gryffindor, so my idea of revenge= *punch them in the face* Keep in mind she's 10, and doesn't have a wand… unless she steals one… I dunno. Yes, so thanks again for reading!


	7. Spring of Second Year

I'm sorry everyone! And by everyone, I mean anyone who added this thing to their story alert and then waited over a year for me to update it… I'm really a terrible person. My deepest apologies. But I remembered to add on to it eventually… it's to my unending surprise that I find that people are reading my stories even when I leave my account alone for ages on end. I have no idea why, but it pleases me immensely. Anyway, rant ends now. Thank you for reading! Now on to the actual story.

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and I am simply borrowing her characters for my own use.**

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7. In Which Scorpius is a Deviant and Tries to talk to Snakes

It was an ordinary day in April, and Scorpius was lathering a piece of toast in jam while Al sat beside him devouring a stack of pancakes and maple syrup. Rose had yet to appear, which was unusual, but the two Gryffindor boys were too preoccupied with breakfast to question it. They hardly even paid attention to the post arriving, even though a package was dropped off in front of them, along with one for each of the separate House tables. The Great Hall erupted into discussion around them, and the pair wouldn't have given any notice whatsoever, except that it seemed that everyone was looking at them. Scor finally lifted his blond head to peer around at the rest of his classmates only to find them gawking at him and Al. He lifted a puzzled brow.

"What's going on?" he asked Al, who had a mouthful of pancake halfway to his mouth.

The other boy blinked a few times before noticing that they were the center of everyone's gaze. He shrugged one shoulder half-heartedly, "Dunno."

Then, Scor's grey eyes rested on the unopened package, and he used a hastily muttered spell to slit it open. Out fell several pictures, unmoving ones. He scrunched his nose as he examined one. It portrayed Al dressed up in girls' dress robes dancing with Scorpius, who was wearing normal robes.

"Oh, that must have been from the Valentine's Ball," Al rolled his eyes. "I remember Rose took that, actually…"

"When she took it, I don't think it had this scrawled at the bottom…" Scor pointed out the colourful loops.

Al looked closer and snorted, "According to this, I'm a cross-dresser and you're some sort of sexual deviant. This looks like Lily's handwriting."

"I'm hardly surprised," the blond boy sighed. "It's not so much that one that I'm worried about. The rest of them rather alarm me."

The rest of the pictures featured Al in different female attire, both wizarding and muggle alike. Scor was also in them, all with his arms around the shorter boy. Al's eyebrows shot upward.

"Well, that's different," he managed to say.

In the next moment, the doors to the Great Hall opened, and Rose arrived, very belatedly, head hanging despairingly, although she looked up when she realized how noisy it was in the room.

"I'm so sorry!" she wailed as soon as she saw them. "I didn't know why she wanted those pictures! I should have suspected!"

"So, these are manipped pics, right?" Al asked, squinting at one. "She's good! I can't even tell!"

"That's cause those are natural poses…" Rose said. "I remember taking them of you two, she just added different clothes."

"I see," Scor groaned. "I suppose this is her so-called 'revenge' then."

"Why didn't she get revenge on you?" whined Al as he pushed his plate away, appetite gone.

Rose shrugged, "She's got nothing on me."

Al wrote to his mother the same night detailing Lily's devious manipulated artwork and got a letter in return cheerfully assuring Al that she'd already seen it. In fact, Lily had shown them to her before she'd sent them all, asking if her mother could tell they were fakes. The letter had gone on to say that Ginny had found the pictures 'adorable', and that Lily had just been 'having some fun'.

"What!" Al cried out. "This was sanctioned by _Mom_? What is this world coming to?"

Meanwhile, the rest of the school assumed that Al was, in fact, a cross-dresser, and after a week of thorough teasing, they left him somewhat alone. He handled the harassment quite well, considering. Scor asked him about it later in the week, wondering why his friend didn't seem to care all that much.

"Hey, _you're_ the 'sexual deviant', not me," Al reminded him.

"I didn't even know Lily knew the word 'deviant', never mind being able to apply it to 'sexual'", Scor groaned, palm hitting his face.

"Well, we can ask her about it over Easter Break," Al reminded him. "You and your dad are gonna come over at some point, right?"

"Totally, I'll drag my dad outta bed if I have to!" Scor affirmed with determination.

He did, in fact, drag his father out of bed as soon as there was light enough to fly by broom. Scor was not to be denied, his father's bedraggled appearance and bed-head hair notwithstanding. They were met at the door by Harry, who smiled a bit at Draco's ruffled appearance and vague scowl. Scorpius was about to rush in to see Al when he suddenly noticed something resting in the dark shade of a hedge and stooped to pick it up by the back of the neck. It was about half a yard long and had a zigzag pattern in black running down its spine, with the rest a uniform gray.

"Scor, that's an adder!" his father seemed frozen with fear.

"Oh, is it?" he leaned closer to examine it as his father made a strangled noise that sounded a bit like a mouse being stepped on.

The snake itself gave an angry sounding hiss, but was unable to move thanks to Scor's grip on its neck.

Suddenly, to the young Gryffindor's surprise, Harry leaned over so that his green eyes were level with the snake, and similar sibilant noises emerged from between his lips. Scor's grey orbs grew wide in astonishment as the snake hissed back in response. The two almost seemed to have a conversation, before a word from Harry in English started the blond boy out of his shock.

"Scorpius, put him down, please," Harry instructed firmly.

"Are you mad?" snapped his father incredulously. "It might bite him!"

"No he won't," Harry assured him. "I asked him not to."

Scor did as he was told, even as his father cried out in alarm. The adder shot him a glance that seemed somewhat venomous, but slithered back into the bushes without another glance.

"You're a parselmouth!" he turned on Al's father accusingly.

"That I am," Harry admitted with a half-shrug that reminded him strongly of his friend.

"You're not surprised?" Scor tugged on his father's sleeve.

"No," his father shook his head. "I'm the reason he even figured out he was a parselmouth in the first place."

"Yeah, by shooting a viper at my face," retorted Harry.

"Snape told me to!" his father protested. "Besides, I was twelve."

"That's no excuse!" Harry cried.

Scor decided they were talking about grown-up stuff again and left them there to argue it out on the front step. He hurried inside and immediately ran into Al, who glomped him happily.

"Did you know your dad can speak parseltongue?" he asked once Al had let go.

"No…" Al frowned. "He never told us anything like that."

"Well, he is," Scor announced. "I'll bet he's been hiding it for a reason, so we should try to find out, okay?"

Al shrugged and then said, "Let's go play Quidditch! My brother's already up in the air, and Lily's getting kitted out. Come on! Besides, we need to practice. We don't want Slytherin to beat us!"

Scor acquiesced to this idea, and the two took off running into the backyard, Harry's parselmouth tendencies forgotten for the moment.

What was not forgotten was Quidditch. Al and Scor were determined to do well in their last game against Slytherin. Vance had been driving them hard in practice, and along with all the homework they had and their upcoming exams, they hardly had any energy left to spare to think about parseltongue. The two boys were sure it was all worth it if they could just win against Slytherin, and be able to rub it in Edwin Nott's face. It wasn't as if they had anything particularly against the boy, it was just that Lily seemed to like him. It was the principal of the thing! That, and he was a chaser for the other team, which made him their enemy automatically.

The day of the match, Al hardly took a bite of his pancakes, even though they were his favorite. Scor tried to cajole him into eating, even as he himself scarfed down a stack of toast slathered in jam. Rose had turned up with a bunch of little Gryffindor flags to hand out for everyone to wave, but Al could hardly even muster a smile. Scor practically had to drag his friend out to the changing rooms. He might have been nervous before the game started, but as soon as the balls were in the air, he got a determined look on his face.

"We're not going to lose!" he told Scor fiercely as the two of them readied their bats in anticipation of the oncoming bludgers.

"No, of course we're not," Scor told him.

The playing was rough, and Al already had a black eye from a mid-air scuffle when something strange started happening. One of the Slytherin chasers suddenly came to an abrupt halt and was still for a moment or two, before his broom started jerking around and bucking about. The boy struggled to get it back under control, but it flipped over, trying to dump him upside down. Everyone was enthralled by this spectacle, until a sharp yelp sounded from somewhere above them. The two Gryffindors looked up to see Nott caught in a similar predicament, but he seemed less skilled at holding on to his broom. He was flipped off over the end, and he let out another shriek as he began to plummet towards the ground. Scor didn't even think twice before maneuvering his own broom underneath Nott to slow down his rapid descent from the sky. A moment later Al joined him, so that between the two they had stabilized their downward movement.

A glance around the pitch showed that almost everyone on the Slytherin team was riding double with a Gryffindor, with only one who had ended up hanging on to one of the goalposts. The match was immediately cancelled, and everyone was sent back to their common rooms.

"What the heck was that about?" Al asked. "What's going on?"

Rose rolled her eyes, "Obviously, another attempt has been made to somehow make the Slytherins 'pay'. I'm not sure who, or what they think they'll accomplish from this, but it's happening somehow. But I think that they must not have thought this out very well, because I can't really see how any of this really does anything for anyone. If they're trying to make Purebloods angry, this fails because not all Slytherins are Purebloods!"

"But Slytherin sort of stands for the typical Pureblood view, so this is the closest they can get to making it difficult for them," Scor pointed out. "Besides, we don't even know who is doing it!"

"Well, who can get into the broomshed and can tamper with the Slytherin's brooms?" Al asked. "It has to be either students or a teacher, cause Hogwarts' wards prevent anyone else from getting in!"

"Well, I'm sure your dad will get involved anyway," Scor rolled his eyes. "Ever the hero, your dad."

"It's not his fault!" Al said indignantly. "Someone has to do it!"

And yet another deep conversation disintegrated into childish squabbling.

"Scor, we finished the Polyjuice already. Why in the name of Merlin's saggy y-fronts are we back in Moaning Myrtle's bathroon?" Al, in spite of his complaints, was leaning against one of the stalls, watching.

"I'm looking for the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets!" Scor was leaned over the edge of a toilet and gazing solemnly into one of the empty bowls.

"In a loo?"

"Yes! You know there's an entrance to the Ministry that is in the toilets, right?"

"I'm just going to ignore you now."

"You could help me look!"

"You're completely balmly, mate."

Scor leaned over yet another toilet bowl, only to discover large, wet eyes staring back at him. With a very undignified yelp, he leapt backwards, slipped in the puddled water on the floor and catapulted straight into Al. Myrtle rose out of the toilet, watching them curiously.

"So, you're back. What are you doing now? And why is it always boys that are sneaking into my bathroom?"

"This is where the party's at!" Scor said, nodding wisely.

"He's trying to find the Chamber of Secrets," Al rolled his eyes. "I don't suppose you know where it is, eh?"

Myrtle looked pleased with herself as she replied, "Of course I do, silly! I saw your father open it when he was a boy! I hoped he would die, and join me in my toilet. Alas, it was not to be."

"Will you tell us?" Scor shoved himself away from Al in excitement.

"It's in that sink, right over there."

As the two of them approached it, with Al muttering in the background about Scor obviously searching in the wrong places, she added, "It won't do you any good. Harry used Parseltongue to open it."

"Parseltongue?" Al turned to his friend. "You did say you heard him speaking it, didn't you?"

"I did!" Scor straightened, grinning. "We should get him to open it for us!"

Al fixed him with a blank stare for a moment or two, and then raised an eyebrow.

Scor sighed, "Okay, yeah. That won't work. I wonder if it's hereditary?"

Scor's brilliant idea at testing this was to find a snake and try to make Al talk to it. "Where the hell are we going to find a bloody snake, Scor?" Al rolled his eyes. "Let's ask Rose. She'd totally know what we should do."

First they had to explain what they'd found out about the Chamber of Secrets, which Scor was only too happy to brag about.

Rose deflated him rather quickly by saying, "Why didn't you just ask me in the first place? I could have told you all that. It's in 'Hogwarts: a history."'

"Well then, if you're so smart, then how are we supposed to find a snake so that we can test if Al can speak Parseltongue?" Scor shot back at her triumphantly.

In response, she smiled smugly before pointing her wand at a point on the floor and declaring, "Serpensortia!"

A viper shot out the end of her wand, landing on the floor a few meters away from them, hissing angrily.

"I read about the spell in 'Hogwarts: a history' too," she explained, watching as the viper coiled up protectively and raise its spade-shaped head. "Did you know it was your dad that did the spell and discovered Al's dad was a Parselmouth? I think it's fascinating."

"Yeah, great. Um, so… how do we figure out if I can talk to it or not?" Al asked nervously.

"Just tell it to go away or something," Scor suggested, looking at it curiously. "Or make friends with it. Cause that would be cool."

"Um, hi there," Al said to the viper.

It rose up angrily, hissing and spitting, slitted eyes focused on them. Lightning-fast, it struck out at them, and all three of them jumped back.

"That was English, Al," Rose told him. "Hurry up and do something before it attacks us again!"

As they started backing up, the viper began its advance, tail lashing out behind it viciously.

"Uh, please don't kill us!" Al squeaked out.

"This isn't working," Rose murmured. "I don't think Al is a Parselmouth after all!"

"Well piss. Rose, make it go away," Scro instructed, still backing away.

"I… I don't know how!"

Both boys whirled on her incredulously.

"What do you mean, you don't know how? Of all the things to not know, this is one of the worst ones at this moment!" Al flailed, and the sudden movements caused the snake to rear its head again.

"The book told me how to summon it, not make it go away!" Rose's voice was getting shriller by the moment.

"You mean to tell me that there is an angry snake after us and we don't know how to get rid of it," Scor said.

"This was your idea!"

"It was not! Okay, I have a better idea."

"Which is?"

"Run!"

_Dear father_

_ If you get a letter from the Headmistress saying that we let loose an angry viper on the school, I can assure you that it was not my fault in the least. It was most definitely because Rose wanted to prove she knew more than me. Actually, it was because she found out that YOU summoned one to go after Al's dad! So, really, this is your fault and I am an innocent bystander. _

_ We are all fine, obviously, otherwise I would not be writing to you. Also, we didn't cause too much damage, so it's all very fine. I don't know what the Head's on about, saying we are a menace to the Wizarding World and all that rot. Honestly, it was a mistake! _

_ Anyways, we all have detention again. Also, if Neville tells you that I had to go visit Madame Pomfrey, it was over a very minor injury, so don't worry._

_ Your son, Scorpius_

_Scorpius_

_ What were you thinking, summoning a Water Moccasin in the school! I don't even know how you managed it, since those are native to North America and therefore nowhere near England. I decline to accept responsibility for this most recent catastrophe, and Potter (the older one, not Al) deserved it._

_ The Headmistress informs me that the thing got lose in the Great Hall during mealtime and that the entire room had to be evacuated in order to catch it. I'm sure I didn't raise you like this. _

_ I was further informed that you were actually bitten by the damn thing and had to be taken to the Hospital Wing in order for the appropriate anti-venom to be administered. That is NOT fine in any definition, and minor is not a way in which I would describe it at all!_

_Please try to take better care of yourself,_

_ Father_

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I hope that wasn't too bad. A few times when actual plot struggles valiantly to raise its head, but really, this is just supposed to be funny. And idiotic. I hope I succeeded.

If you read this far, thank you ever so much!

Also, if you are a Slytherin, I am not tormenting your kind because I don't like you. In fact, I adore you, even though I am a Gryff. All will become clear at some point, I swear!

Suou Out


	8. Summer of Second Year

Hello all! I really need to update this more… but at least it hasn't been a year, like last time, eh? So, just as a note, I have to give credit to **kittenonabroomstick** for inadvertently giving me an idea for this chapter.

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling and I am simply borrowing her characters for my own use.**

* * *

8. In Which Scorpius Cannot Speak French with Disastrous Consequences

_Hey Al_

_So, instead of being allowed to come visit you next week, I'm being dragged to France by my mother. I know, it's a load of bollocks, but there's no getting out of it. I have to visit my Auntie Marguerite and my cousins, apparently. I'm sure this is actually a cunning plan to punish me for the Snake Incident. They couldn't have picked a bloody better punishment either. Can't speak French worth shite. _

_As a side note, I think my dad's losing more hair, he's balder than ever. Got himself in a right snit over it, too. I hope YOUR dad's not this over-dramatic._

_Anyway, I guess I'll have to owl you when I get back from France (bloody frogs). The only upside to all this is that it's supposed to be jolly weather unlike here and I won't need a brolly._

_Scorpius_

"Scorpius Malfoy, if I have to tell you one more time to stop poking at those display potions I am going to be very annoyed at you," Scor's mother sent him a stern look overtop a sheet of parchment she was meticulously poring over.

"Well what am I supposed to do, chat up one of these French types? Not bloody likely," he grumbled.

He went back to studying the labels on the row of bottles in front of him, trying to remember if he'd learned any of the words in front of him. Sadly, the only French words he really knew were 'Bureau de Change', and those weren't likely to appear on a potions bottle. One read '_Croissance de poil' _and because he liked the shiny gold-blue colour, he tried sounding it out loud.

"Croy-sance day poyle," he tried.

"_Croissance de poil_," his mother read it over his shoulder. "It means 'hair-growth'. I'm sure you don't need it, son. Let's go now."

Hair growth… that could come in useful, he was sure of it! He took the bottle up to the counter and handed the clerk the necessary coinage, pocketing his newest find. He knew someone that might be interested in it. Of course, he had to put up with the Frenchness of his extended family for another few days before he was able to return to jolly old England.

"Mayer-see!" he yelled and waved at the shopkeeper as he exited after his mother.

"Dad, there's this stuff I want you to try!" Scor burst out as soon as the International Portkey deposited him back on his home soil.

"Good to see you, too, son," his father said dryly before letting out an 'oof' sound as Scor slammed into his midsection. "What is it?"

"It's a hair-growth – "

"I'm not losing my hair," his father interrupted at once.

"I never said you were, it's just an enhancement – "

"I don't need it," his father assured him. "Why don't you give it to your mother?"

"She doesn't need it," Scor protested, thinking of his mother's thick, full head of hair that she sometimes forced him to brush manually rather than use a spell on it.

"Well I don't either."

Scor, however wasn't one to give up. He knew his father was just being stubborn and in-denial about the state of his head. He knew foreheads weren't supposed to go that high, but his father just wouldn't admit to a receding hairline. But he had just the thing to do it. He would put the potion in his father's morning tea before he headed out to visit Al and Rose at the Burrow tomorrow. That would do it for sure!

The next morning, he gleefully headed out via Floo to see his friends, certain that his father would not only drink his tea, but by the afternoon have as much hair as his mother. Well, maybe not THAT much… but who knew, since he couldn't read the label he couldn't read the instructions. And therefore he'd just dumped the entire thing into his father's tea. Anyway, if it grew too much, that's what a hair-trimming charm was for.

"Guess what guys!" he cheerfully announced as he landed at the Burrow.

"Hey Scor," Rose shook her head. "Al's just on his way down. What did you do?"

Scor waited for his other friend to arrive before launching into his tale about uncovered treasure and helping his father overcome the difficulties of aging.

"Let me see the bottle," Rose demanded. "I can speak French cause of Auntie Fleur. I hardly ever get anything to practice on these days."

Al rolled his eyes, indicating that he knew that Rose was just showing off her knowledge again, but Scor handed her the bottle anyway. Girls were scary when angry, so it was best to appease them.

A moment passed before Rose asked, "Scor, did you read the small print on this thing?"

"I didn't read ANY of the French on that thing, cause I can't speak French," Scor replied, baffled. "I mean, it's my mom's side of the family that has French, and I never thought it would be useful."

"But your last name is bloody French, Scor!" Al seemed surprised, and Scor was gratified that both his friends seemed to think he was smart enough to know French.

"Well, I can't, so there."

"Scor… this is a potion for animals. Specifically, it's made for cats; you know those hairless ones?" Rose took a deep breath. "Don't you know that hair on a person's head is 'cheveux' and NOT 'poil'? Surely someone taught you…"

"Oh yeah, I knew that one!" Scor said triumphantly. "Wait, so what does poyle mean then?"

"Body hair."

"Oh. Well piss."

"It also says that you're supposed to put a tablespoon per inch you want the cat's hair to grow. How much did you put in?" Rose asked fearfully.

"The whole thing…."

"Scor," Al said solemnly. "Your dad is a veritable saint for putting up with you for this long, but this time, I think he may kill you."

"You're probably right," Scor sighed mournfully. "No one messes with Malfoy hair. It's a rule or something."

"Well, it was nice knowing you, mate."

Scor dreaded his return that night, but when he got home, his father was sitting in a rocking chair by the fire and reading the _Evening Prophet_. He hardly even looked up from his paper when Scor made his noisy entrance. He took another sip of his tea and turned the page before finally looking up.

"Bleeding Merlin, it worked!" Scor gasped out, staring.

It _had_ worked from what he could tell. His father's hairline wasn't visible, as a shock of platinum hair was actually falling in his father's eyes, which he was gallantly ignoring.

"What worked?" his father raised an eyebrow.

"Um… nothing, just… er, nothing. I'm going to go see Mom!" Scor back-tracked hurriedly and ran off to find his mother.

"Mom!" he yelled, startling her into dropping her book on the floor.

"Yes, darling?" she asked. "How was your day at the Weasley's place?"

"Never mind that, what happened to Dad's hair?"

"Oh, he didn't tell you?" his mother began laughing. "And here I was certain he'd scold you about it. I'm not sure what you did, but about a minute after your father finished his tea this morning, he began sprouting fur all over his body."

"What?" the young Gryffindor's mouth hung open in shock.

"I even have pictures, look!" she grinned. "He was right livid at the time!"

There was his father, or at least he assumed it was his father, covered in long, light blond fur. It was everywhere, it even covered his face, obstructing his view completely. There was no way to even tell who the figure was, apart from the colour of the fur. Scor didn't know whether to laugh or not, because this time, his intentions had been purely to make his father happy. It had back-fired spectacularly, as was usual with his plans. He really needed Rose to iron them out first, before he put them into action.

"So… what happened?" he asked quietly.

"We had to take him to St. Mungo's to get it reversed," she nodded. "I wasn't even sure what you did until I remembered that potion I saw you looking at in France. It took most of the day to figure out how to fix it. He had to call in sick to work."

"Oh… well then, how come he isn't angry and throwing around priceless antique vases like he usually does when he's enraged?" Scor bit his lip.

"I'm sure it's because when the healers were Transfiguring his fur back into hair, they didn't take out the hair he'd already lost, so in a round-about way, you actually made an improvement," his mother smiled faintly. "That's not to say that you shouldn't be more careful when planning these things out…"

But Scor had already dashed back out of the room to throw himself on top of his father, disrupting his reading.

"Hi, dad," he said simply and grinned.

"What are you up to now?" the older Malfoy narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"Nothing!" he rolled off of his father and fell on the floor in a heap. "I'm glad it worked out!"

His father snorted and straightened out his newspaper. "I know you meant well," he muttered, shaking his head. "What am I going to do with you, Scorpius?"

"You could take me to Diagon Alley tomorrow?" he asked hopefully.

"I suppose I could," his father sighed, folding his newspaper, and Scor knew that he was once again grumbling away in his head about his Gryffindor son.

His dad was the best.

"Scor, have you seen my wand around anywhere?" Rose leaned over the blond Gryffindor.

"Nope," he answered sleepily. "When's the last time you had it?"

Al was stretched out beside him with a glass of lemonade in one hand and a Quidditch magazine in the other.

"Why didn't you ask me?" whined the other boy at his cousin.

"You're less observant than Scor, so I figure if he hasn't seen it, then you definitely haven't," Rose rolled her eyes.

"Just cause he found my quill before I did – "

"Al, it was tucked behind your ear!"

"So?"

"Well, I guess even your measly help would be better than none. Come on, we have to find it," Rose ordered imperiously.

Scor groaned, but rolled to his feet. He and Al had been camped out underneath a tree near the Burrow to stay out of the summer sun, and leaving the protection of the shade was not very much desired by either of them. But both of them followed the red-head's lead, Al still sipping on his lemonade.

"Where _did_ you see it last?" Scor asked again. "Surely you didn't just leave it somewhere randomly?"

"Of course I didn't!" huffed their friend. "Even Al has better sense than that!"

"Hey!" Al protested half-heartedly.

"Well then where did you leave it?"

"I was reading 'Hogwarts: a history – "

"Again?"

"Just the parts I remember being interesting!"

"So the entire thing then."

"No! That's not the point, anyway. I was reading it, and I had put my wand down to get the book off the shelf, and by the time I remembered I'd put it down, I couldn't find it!"

"So someone took it."

"Who would take it? I told Hugo if he ever tried to steal my stuff I'd turn his ears into cucumbers."

"Well, Lily's around here somewhere, too," Al pointed out finally. "And no one has ever threatened to do anything to her. Well, apart from that time we blackmailed her."

Rose and Scor stopped dead in their tracks.

"We have to find her."

It turned out to be not that difficult to find her at all. She and James were arguing over something in the garden and the noise of their argument drew the three of them right to the scene.

"Lily, you have to give it back. You're going to get Rose in trouble!"

"She never gets in trouble! Anyway, what are you going to do if I don't give it back? Tell on me?"

James glowered at her, and Al knew his brother hated being called a tattle-tale.

Lily was grasping Rose's wand in her left hand, and as James took a step forward, presumably to try and take it away, she brandished it at him. A shower of sparks shot out the end at him, and he quickly scrambled back. But it was only a bunch of colourful sparkles, and was harmless. He started chasing her around the garden while she shot off more rounds of sparkles, as well as bubbles and flower petals.

"Why are we not intervening?" Al whispered.

"She doesn't seem to be doing any harm," Rose pointed out.

Scor rolled his eyes, "Just you wait, she probably has something up her sleeve."

James was bigger than Lily, but the younger red-head was quicker than him and managed to evade capture. They stopped for a moment before James lunged at her, hoping to catch her off guard.

Lily squeaked out, "Serpensortia!" right before the two collided and went down in a heap.

"Oh, not again!" Rose cried. "How does she even know that spell?"

"From you," Lily said, voice muffled from under her brother's shoulder. "You were telling us about it, remember?"

"It figures that's the only spell she knows!" Scor sighed, running his hand through blond hair.

"I think we should worry more about the fact that once again we have an angry snake on our hands," Al pointed out, backing away from the spiraled coils of the viper Lily had summoned.

"Rose, get rid of it!" Scor ordered, helping James and Lily to their feet.

"I can't!" she shook her head. "Lily has my wand!"

"Lily, give it back!"

"_Shaaaassshaashiaaah_," James said.

The viper turned towards him.

Another stream of hisses came from James' mouth, and the snake coiled itself up further, moving its head back and forth as if hypnotized.

"Oh, it's your brother that can speak Parseltongue!" Scor said in delight.

That's when Lily piped up with "_Sssahhhhssiiaah_!"

"What? Why can they both speak it and I can't?" whined Al as both Lily and James stared at each other venomously.

"What's going on?" Harry and Scor's dad appeared from inside the house.

Al's siblings both burst into strings of hissing that apparently made sense to Harry, because he immediately started speaking in the sibilant language as well. Soon, the three Potters were engaged in what seemed to be a fierce debate.

"Al, your family is really weird. No one in the Malfoy or Greengrass family has ever had an argument in Parseltongue," Scor informed his friend.

"It wasn't my fault!" Al objected. "They began the argument all by themselves, and besides, I can't speak it. So there."

Scor perked up. "That's true! Now that we know that James can speak it, we can get into the Chamber of Secrets!"

"I thought you'd given up on that," Rose groaned.

"Never give up!" Scor pronounced, swishing his hair out of his eyes.

"Scor, have I ever told you that you're kind of a nutjob?"

"I get it from my father, I'm sure you know. Malfoys are usually rather…"

"Scorpius, malign not the Malfoy name!" his father broke in. "And what's this about the Chamber of Secrets?"

Scor back-tracked quickly. "I mean, the Malfoys are a long line of… um, I'd like to say we're sensible blokes, but we really aren't, if you think about it. Er… dashing? Can I say 'we're a dashing specimen of wizardkind?' I think so. Um, you definitely misheard me, dad. I meant a secret, um, room. And rooms can be called chambers. That's why I said it was a chamber of secrets. Um, you know, all lower-case letters. Not 'The Chamber of Secrets', haha. Nothing like that. Just a random place in the castle, you know…"

"Do stop rambling, Scor," Rose kicked him lightly in the ankle.

"Right. Um. Yes. Stuff to do, people to see and all that. Bye!" he grabbed Al by the wrist, snatched Rose's wand out of Lily's clutches, and then dragged his friends far away from the insanity behind him.

"So, next year, we have to convince James to get us into the Chamber," Scor informed them once they were out of his father's earshot.

"Why is it necessary to go down there? I hear there's a dead basilisk skeleton rotting in the place," Rose wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"And that's not a good enough reason to go?" Scor enthused, not seeming to notice Rose's reluctance.

"Not at all," Rose sniffed.

"Well, we have to put a halt to the evil of the Hufflepuff brethren," he told her, as if making a perfectly reasonable argument.

"No we don't," she said.

"We can look at a dead basilisk! Think of all the studying on it you could do!"

"I think I'm fine with reading a book, if I wanted to know at all."

"You're such a spoilsport, Rose. At least Al will go with me. Right Al?" he nudged his raven-haired friend with his elbow. "We'll be the most intrepid adventurers yet! Actually, it's probably good that you're not going with us, Rose. You'd slow us down, you know, being a – "

Rose narrowed her eyes as him, "If you finish that sentence with 'girl', I'm going to clobber you."

"Bookworm," Scor smiled angelically.

Rose considered this for a moment.

"Well… I _am_ a Gryffindor. Known to be intrepid adventurers as well as avid pyromaniacs… I suppose I must uphold the name of our noble House," Rose sighed. "I guess I'll go with you."

Well, if they had Rose on their side, it was as good as done.

"This is going to be the best year yet!" Scor told Al in determination.

No one disagreed.

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Hello once again! Thank you for reading until the end. As always, feedback is always great, as well as devious ideas for what to put these guys through next. Also, very soon I'm going to need the advice of some good Slytherins, cause I have no idea what goes through those tricky heads of yours, and I wouldn't really know cunning if it smacked me in the face with a brick.


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